silly poka dots

2006-08-20T19:28:00.000+08:00

i have shifted.

till next time, i'd see you around on my new site,

how bout' that?

2006-08-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

it isnt worth it,

for you to be in such a state,

especially when im involved,

it wouldnt make me feel any better.

2006-08-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

spent the past one hour sobbing. no, i didnt get reprimanded nor did i get bullied. rather, because i was watching my favourite weekend 7pm hongkong drama. i didnt quite catch its title in chinese, but it's titled 'central affairs' in english. you people should go rent it and watch it!

know why it's a must watch? because bernice hardly watches teevee and needless to say, i dont do chinese dramas, but this serial drama *thumbsup* just caught my attention all weekend.(daddy records it, you see) damn that tonight is its final episode! now, im all inspired to go to hongkong for my next short-get-away =D

back to this afternoon. as planned, went swimming with waiyeng. you see, after swimming, in e midst of strolling to Tong Shui Cafe for lunch, this old lady, probably in her mid 60s, shabbily dressed, asked us for two dollars, reason being she doesnt have enough money to head home. it wasnt the reason which resulted in me giving her a 2dollar note, rather, her facial expression and together, she reminded me of my late granny.

for some reason, i knew it was probably one of those conning incident. but i couldnt help, but to feel for her and afterall, she cant possibly do any bad with that 2dollar, could she? my point being, ive been very emotional these days. i feel for practically everything. at times, i feel for myself too. one after another, i see my close pals leading the life theyve been yearning for, some, luxurious, others, simple and neat. as for me, i still havent been able to figure out what ive been doing. maybe im waiting for God to send a gurdian angel to pave the way.

it's just one of those nights, isnt it?

i need a stroll, anyone?

2006-08-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

this afternoon, technically yesterday, was hell of a day. spent the afternoon doing mathematics(yet again) and then off i went to meet up with irene and gang(lots of fagging involved). to my surprise, someone's getting ROM soon.

God, i couldnt believe my ears though. but boy, am i glad that someone's blissfully in love and someone's got a love nest alr. double woah i say. all in all, a pretty well accomplished day =D

may i have the honour, to present the TI KO-est woman on Earth..

Jasmine =D *claps claps* (no, she isnt the one getting ROM)

one shall be good and turn in early
and meet waiyeng for a good swim tmr.

goodnight, world.

2006-08-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

i have had the most hiccups in a day, today.
and zongyang couldnt stop laughing
when the hiccup kept acting up till i got kind of choked
while swallowing my saliva. BLAH.

as a typical capricorn, i've never liked the idea of changing a person,
be it physically or mentally.
but for some reasons, i know, i'd have to see it coming.
it's been so many times that people around me,
kept advising me not to be so adamant of my belief on horoscopes.
but when all's so true, can i help it?

when i stone, eat, study, play, all that i can think of
are those "energy boosting" sticks,
i am sooooo gonna fag tmr.

word out.

2006-08-16T19:06:00.000+08:00

The Corrs - Dont say you love me

p/s: Andrea still looks gorgeous, despite the mistake

my heart couldnt stop aching when i was browsing through a couple few music clips. i seriously cant quite conclude anything from such reponse, except that i feel apologetic to myself and probably, you. that i could have been more brave, to hold on to this friendship. if i did, things could have been different now, wouldnt it?

for no apparent reason,
i was humming to this song while painting my canvas..

maybe it's a sign. and the lyrics are absolutely similar to my thoughts. is it some kind of fate that i read exactly what's been on my mind these days on yr site? if i could paint a picture according to my thoughts now, i'd paint a rain pour.

just how much time, do i need, to recuperate from all these?

do you remember, back in those days, when we were all younger, we were given choices, whichever flavour of toothpaste would you like, mickey mouse or bobdog pencil case, macdonalds or a&w? we chose whichever we LIKED. but as i grew up, i realised, choices arent choices afterall, because you've gt to pick a choice that'd solve the problem, whichever the situation calls for. life's such a pain in the ass sometimes, dont you think?

it's midweek and im not the least bit happy, because the very dreaded prelims are nearing. HELPPPPPPP~

2006-08-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

this is frustrating! maths is sooooooo tedious,
or maybe im just plain stupid.

CCB, you MotherFucker,
no one provokes me! and thus, you shall die~

we shall see! *points middle finger*

2006-08-14T20:08:00.000+08:00

the foxtrots! i cant quite recall how i started reading their comics, but damn, i sure do love them =D

thank you for the apple cheese tarts. they taste great, i swear.
so as to compensate you, i'd buy you half a dozen next time okays?
and silly, when youre tight on cash, kindly tell me.
you know, i feel real guilty, if you get what i mean :(

word out.

2006-08-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

so sick of straight lines,

need some twisting.

2006-08-13T21:17:00.000+08:00

you people shouldnt believe all that i say of in my posts.

you see, at times, me thinks ive gt split personality. and for those whom dont know me well, dont assume that im nice, because obviously, when it comes to certain aspects in my life, im definitely not nice. ive been trying real hard, to deal with some personal problems, bt it keeps probing me. for that, i never seem be to anywhere prefection.

well. as for those whom have a very bad impression of me, keep that image of me in mind. because i'd rather seem nice when im not than to look bad when people assume im nice.

this entry's pretty ambiguous. can i help it, no? because im real pissed. i fucking hate this love-hate war. one moment you reminisce and next, you swear at me. what's all this? are you fucking insane?

last night was spent at coffee bean outdoor. it was nat, me and jieying. together with my all so favourite caramel ice blended. and damn that man, whom questioned me "what slim?" when i tried to buy the cigs. HELLO? theres only virgina SLIM! oh, do you have marlboro SLIM? peabrains!

it aint about addiction baby. as the exams' draw nearer, i seriously do not know what to do, except to turn to fags. to make things worse, motivation's sinking, like.. all the way down. HOW?

word out. damn! i rest my case.

2006-08-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

boy am i surprised! that frankie j sings pretty well, even in accoustic! okay, this is it, this has stripped him off my 'good-for-nothing-dirty-music-videos' list.

frankie j - obsession (accoustic version)

2006-08-12T11:18:00.000+08:00

some days, i wake up, staggering(almost there lah) my way to the loo then considering myself having a flat foot. so? you'd probably ask. well, it matters a hell lot, at least having been a sports person for the past 5 years, it affects yr running speed and most importantly, your body balance on solid ground.

actually, my point being..
when will i get back on sporting grounds again?
i guess im dropping basketball, because these days, ive been spotted kicking balls with the boys rather than being lured to the basketball court for a hooping game. not that basketball's not fun, probably ive lost a huge part of the passion, but heys, i swear it's a power pack game. fights yr mind, body and even, soul, sometimes.

i reckon i miss those trainings days, be it in or out of school. those straineous exercises, sweat bursting long jogs, days spent in the gym, on the threadmill, taking the weights and weighing ourselves! HAHAHAHAHA. oh, cant miss out on those endless drills, pumpings, crunches and shooting!

question being, i doubt i'd see myself in a polytechnic. so how do i land myself on a sporting ground again? i dont know? guess i'd go get involved with outside sporting clans, for sure, i want to pick up dragonboat! i sooooo adore the team spirit and tanned bods. and dont get me wrong, not that im opting for ITE, i was just hoping to do my studies in LASELLE SIA, well it all depends, on my grades doesnt it?

it's weird that i wake up to this freaking home alone saturday morning and start ranting all these. have got a gut feeling it'd be a stay home day. never mind, i like! except that erm, ive been craving for you-know-what all week. the last one was probably last night. sighs :( virgina super slimmmmmmmm~ ROARSSSSS!

oh, did i mention? last night was spent in town, caught the fireworks, after so loooongggg~ lovely it was, but like i'd put it, all beautiful things lasts only for a sheer moment, awww~

forward to the middle, thats the peak!

my favourite!

just a minority of the LARGE crowd.

from left: i-forgot-his-name, shuhui, jieying and me.
photographer: yazid.

erm, what's yazid doing?

pimply or not, you're still my goodie-o-friend!

2006-08-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

damn it, damn it, damn it.
third entry for the day, what's with me?

cant believe it that im distracted at this point of time.
afew more months to the bloody fucking big O's.
my heart's not at ease, not now,
when the chinese result's gonna be out tmr.
DOOM day, i call it.

Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger

2006-08-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

i spent a large amount of time, thinking about us.
reminiscing those days,
where we exchanged the best conversations, ever.
every word, possibly tickling me.

days when i'd look forward to hearing your voice, receiving your texts.
where i'd tease you and oblige to meeting you, when you should know,
my week's never complete, not until i meet up with you.

those little sweet surprises, which every girl will melt to.
but i still cant quite get over myself,
why everything ended like a tragedy.
might have been me, like it has always been.

i cant bring it up, for us to try seeing each other again.
because it might end up like a never ending cycle..
where i'd hurt you.. and i'd cry over my silly mistake.
but all im asking for, is that we try being friends,
like we've always been, back in those days,
exactly 3 years ago..

is that too much to ask for?

2006-08-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

*waves* im back, people!
the trip to batam was marvellous and splendid! way better than the first trip,
because this trip, uncle victor and daddy were out to pamper me!

first stop:
we checked in at Holiday Inn Resort, possibly the best resort in Batam.
considering the resort rate, how can i not feel posh?

the resort, in the daytime.

when night falls, totally mesmerised. aww~

waiting area.

lobby.

breakfast area.

it was a spread!

outdoor dining, right next to the pool.

our room was like a condo and this is the living room :)
attached with a stunning balcony.

dining table and fridge.

bedroom, with daddy at the foreground, reading the papers while giving that 'what you doing?' look. HAHAHAHA!!

how could we forget? and that's me and baby pickle :0)

i apologise, but i couldnt fish out my camera wherever i went, because..

1) i didnt want to be recognised as a tourist.
2) most places, forbidded cameras, eg. women's spa
3) i didnt want uncle victor and aunty juliana to think that im sua ku.
4) my camera's battery was running low and thus..

i was considering, whether to blog about my experience at the women's spa. well, i might as well, so as to create abit of astonishment and shy laughters.

okay, here i go. apparently, my uncle brought me to this established local women's spa. where they charge S$60 for 2.5hrs treatment. from head all the way to toe. and when i say HEAD TO TOE, i do mean HEAD TO TOE. dont get it? okay, she massaged my breasts too, geddit? it actually went like this.. as the normal routine at spas, even at the spa i go monthly in singapore, we have to strip and wrap ourselves with towel, until we are told to lie on the massaging bed. so she was massaging my tummy and i thought, okays, shes going to massage my shoulders after that, but NO?! she started rubbing my breasts and i questioned her.. "erm, breasts? for what?!". "to build the bridge of the breasts, madam" she smiled.

then after the whole treatment, i was told to sit at this stool with a hole in the middle. notice, i was NAKED, then she inserted this charcoal filled mini kettle under the stool, saying it is to clean my bottom. "oooooo-kkkaaaayyyysss" that was exactly my response! DAMN! minus all the very intimate interactions, that S$60 is well spent, considering theres the FULL body massage, suana, milk bath, foot bath, drinks and all facilities in ONE room, all catering to you only.

despite all the private stuffs, i'd still head there for massages, money worth it, totally! too bad that it's only for the ladies =P oh, did i mention? it was all paid by my uncle, TEEHEE. and no, he doesnt like me addressing him uncle, he's in his early 30's :) afterwhich, we(daddy, me, victor and his wife), headed to the all famous and crowded outdoor seafood eating place. thumbs up to the BBQ prawns, God knows i loveeeeeee prawns, double cheers that they were BBQ-ed! then it was all the sheer drinking, back at the resort's lounge.

day two:

decided to stay over for another night. this time around, at victor's hotel. known as "grand majesty hotel". grand and new. probably your four-star hotel. uncle victor's a director there though, so we were given the presidential suite. woohoo! told ya they loveeeeeee me :)

view from bed, leading to..

the tv room!

view from room :)

then it was a day of sheer shopping, nothing much though. bought the tidbits and munchings. then off we board the vessel and tada, back to singapore! i didnt know we were allowed to the top of the vessel. to enjoy the sunset and breezeeeee. woo~

bidding my last goodbye!

guess who was all geared up to beat the sunset...

pickle, indeed ;)

2006-08-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

heading to batam in 2 hours' time.
do i smell A&W? rootbeer float!
weeeee =D

i am so gonna get my quiksilver belt there.
surprisingly, i found one authenic
quiksilver shop there at the mall.
and also, my adidas!

hopefully, mom will be able to drop all the office work
and join us tomorrow :(

okays. will be back, probably tmr night.
cant bear to be away for too long.
especially without the presence of mommy :(

be sure to await my next entry.
in the meantime,
do have a splendid national day week,
dudes and dudettes!

2006-08-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

cant stop thinking in phrases.
to be exact, i want to be precise.
abit of brain-block tonight, sighs.

why do i have this feeling,
that i want to drift away from everyone else?
because this reality's too much for me to handle?
i feel all so lousy.
because im almost the last to know.
and that when i finally know.
i realise, i could have been left better off not knowing the truth.
because i keep pondering over it.
then i'd start cursing and swearing at myself.
for not being able to handle this matter, righteously.

now that sucked.
because everyone consider
that i have the tendency to think too much.
like, when will i ever be at ease, huh?

guess this week's been too much of a rollercoaster ride for me.
i wish sharon stayed over tonight.
so that i could have disgress to her.
at least she'd listen and give me constructive advices.
apart from all the lavish gifts shes been showering me.

_______________________________________________

anyws, last night was spent strolling around in town.
wanted to catch the fireworks, but yeo backed out on me :(
nevermind about that.
because i still enjoyed myself, with the company of a friend.
thanks for the ultra-big lollipop,
dont laugh at me, because for all my life,
i havent had such BIG lollipop.
mom doesnt want me to get tooth decay, thats why!

raffles' market place sure
do have great "buy-and-eat-on-the-go" sort of finger foods.

know what's inside that white box?

chicken noodle, thats right!

afterwhich, satisfied my sweet tooth cravings @ outofthepan,
alocated at the basement of raffles' city.

hazelnut royal, they call it. with whipping oreo coffee.

water fountain, that doesnt splash.

thank God, amongst all the bad, theres something good.
and that is.. it's SOUL weekend on class95.
they make me feel SOUL good!

laid by you

2006-08-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

i need a benefit of a doubt.
i seriously do.

i wish we talk, share laughters,
exchange mutual understandings,
get it over and done with,
without the "middle-man".

it's the pinning of high hopes,
then the downhill fall.
do you even know of my existence?

define paranoid,
think me.

2006-08-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

it's been all sounding in my head..
this feeling just keeps eating me up inside..

ann siang road this weekend.
i want to get a vintage dress,
i really do want to try :(

self-proclaimed-bernice's-personal-fashion-consultant,
ziddy zid,
do you hear me?

was conversing with nat this morning, it's true that i dont know whom/what to turn to when im low, upset or frustrated. i used to turn to drinking, but im certified binge drinker. so yeap, it's out of my list alr. all i can bloody think of are those evil sticks. fuck man, teacher overheard me spouting 'cheebye', okay, im so-very-dead.

word out.

2006-08-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

it's funny how i told you guys i'd be back during the weekends but instead, i came back to blog yesterday and now, again. TEEHEE. ive decided to pen down a couple few thoughts before i get working on those darn biology test notes. did i mention, dad walked me to the bus stop this morning? did i just hear you go.. "aww~"?

im sorry that if i havent been a friend, good enough for you to confide in. however things go, ive decided to wash my hands off. i dont know why ive been all so paranoid over this issue. but it's true that a friend of mine told me, 'she'd never understand, not until she experiences it'. to do as said, i'd still be there, waiting for you at e end of the road, for the long run. whatever it is, you'd always have me, alrights? maybe i should quit being so judgemental. it isnt helping me the least bit, in getting to know everyone around me, better.

and yes, i was on this conversation with the boys that we shall head to KL for a short getaway at the end of the year. then their replies strucked me that all three of them confirmed that they'd be heading there, now the decision only lies in me! like what-the-toot, i thought they hadnt gave it any serious thought before! wham-bam! HAHAHAHA. only to realise ive been the one, floating on thoughts all these while. GRRR. anyws, i am looking forward to the trip with these three ass-es. afterall, they are the boys! TEEHEE.

anyws, i hope my 'red painters' would end by this friday. because i want to get my butt back in sentosa, like those good-old-active days, for a sustainable healthy tan. this weekend and the 3-self-declared holidays next week will be splendid. thou say request for a batam getaway to uncle's newly built hotel. yippie!~

holiday inn, here i come!

before i forget. this might be somewhat dishonourable to admit, but the truth is, ive been addicted to this particular gay site.(i keep checking in for their daily entries) not that they post pornographic materials nor extreme sexual contents. but it's just weird that those hunky bods on the site, which leaves me drooling, could have been ogled by males(gays) at the same time as im drooling, imagine! and no, ive got nothing against gays.

one of the many photos secretly snapped at the poolside, eeeeeek~ but quite HOT, isnt it?

it's just.. weird, you know, you know?

2006-08-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

to sum up my day:

joined the boys for street soccer after school.
my kneecap gave way whilst standing up today.
had donuts and egg tarts for recess.
munch on some chips for lunch.
the darn 99 SBS bus' seat kept pressing against my poor-old-injury kneecap.
dared myself to bring my IPOD to school, despite the phone theft.
was in an ultimate foul mood because of that touchy son-of-a-bitch.

i bumped into someone whom truly resembled him. and i thought my feelings were through with him. i dont know how true that is, but i was caught totally off guard! needless to say, was in the daze mode not soon after. sighs, i couldnt believe my eyes, but nah, im certain it wasnt him.

it's been quite awhile. not that i miss him now, but ive been reminiscing those good-old-days, when we knew nothing but fun, crushing on each other and doing all those itsy bitsy sweet nothings for each other.

then again, i wish we hadnt met!

2006-07-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

as the saying goes, once bitten twice shy, as much as i hate myself committing mistakes, i'd hate myself doubly as much of i dont save someone from an absolute deadly mistake, if i happen to know of.

im not quite your naggy sort. okay, maybe I AM. but im only like that to people whom im concerned of. for one, im concerned of this particular mate of mine. i cant explain the situation here, except that im certain she'd be terribly hurt if she has intention of falling into his deadly trap. everyone knows that guy's an untimate heart-breaker, to cut it short, a big-time FLIRT. i know ive been bombarding her with a million and one questions of their 'progress'. and i quite help it but to be a bugger, afterall, i consider her as an important friend, someone worthy of my care and concern. but words just cant seem to find their way out of my lips, when shes so keen on her own stand (which is to remain close to him)

now, all that im praying for, is that our friendship doesnt turn sour over this guy. sighs. and a piece of an advice my dear readers, no guy/girl's worthy to cause a stir in a sounding friendship, esp long-termed friendship. even if he/she is worthy of, that someone wouldnt wreck your initial friendship with your bestfriend.

enough said. wont be back, not until the weekend. did i mention? might be out for a short getaway this weekend.

as for now, latenight revision, here i come!

must-get this weekend:

new pair of haiavanas
crumpler sling pouch

2006-07-30T22:56:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

I dont feel right tonight. It suddenly strucked me that im tired of carrying all the burdens by myself. In this life, i merely ask for a man, to share my joy and sorrows. I know Adam and Eve were created for a reason, which is righteous love. But if there is no man whom can live up to my expectations, I really dont mind a female too. Afterall, no one should be deprived of this thing called "love", right? Dont get me wrong, your child here aint desperate for love. But all im hoping for, is a faithful partner, a true bestfriend, whom will be willing to accompany me through this journey of a lifetime. Please do send a kind, tolerant, faithful, chirpy and preferably, average-looking partner.

In exchange for all these, I am willing to part with my packets of M&Ms, skittles, potato chips and tubs of chocolate fudge ice-cream. For this is a fair exchange (i believe!) Please do send someone quick, because im seriously dying of fatigue and anxiety real soon. At least do let me spend the last minute of my life with a special someone.

Notice that this letter is rather formally typed, for I have always been a lazy being, I decided to put in much of a sincerity into this note. If i need to do more than the above, please do negotiate it, I'd try all means to satisfy the criteria.

With love from your Child,
Bernice

p/s: i dont exactly need a boyfriend, but rather, a bestfriend.

2006-07-30T12:34:00.000+08:00

ive come to realised that i put on 'validation tags' on all male friends. should it be goodfriend/bestfriend/buddy or whosoever, whichever male that mixes around with me frequently, will soon find themselves having a 'tag' attached to them. as for the 'tags', i'd explain it later in e this entry.

it's after some period of time that you'd see me around with another male friend. but may i clarify that they are all casual friends, because me being very tomboy-ish myself, it's only logical that i have the tendency to interact better with the male species.

you see, ive always have had this high expectation of males. probably because having been brought up in this conservative family, kelvin and dad always have their ways of protecting me from all forms of bad influences. (excluding binge drinking, that is) issues like sex, relationships and etc are very much the taboo-talking-topics. so over the years, as i am out and about to meeting new people, i'd always thought they will know what's to say and what's not. okay, so not all of them knows what's right and what's not. but i still do get very offended, even when i know my buddy's the dirty-talker sort. i STILL do get offended! and thats when you'd see me drifting apart from one and then another.

you see, the thing about me is that i dont tell my close friends that i feel offended by them. afterall, it's not too nice. but yah, that's when you'd soon find the 'validation tag' expired. which also means the fall out of the friendship. i still cant quite explain my weird character sometimes. im sick of myself, at some point of time, that i keep falling out with people, due to my undefinite split personality.

weird enough, i dont see such encounters in my female friends, thats why i say. i might just be a lesbian! but even so, i'd expect my girlfriend to look like fiona xie. TEEHEE. but nolah, i aint no lesbian! im straight. i hope this entry clears some of my friends' doubts on me. i cant quite do it face to face, but yah. now that you know, try all ways to avoid the taboos, wont you? :)

it's been a stay-in weekend. havent accomplished anything much, physically. because the weather's been all gloomy, just where has Mr.Sunshine gone to? will probably be out with the rents to run some family errands later. and i need to thread those bushy eyebrows of mine! it's been all the evil procrastinating! *slams the table* laziness has indeed taken its toll me on and im having a hard-time saying goodbye! aye! doesnt that remind you of the maroon 5? TEEHEE.

yet another junk entry, sorry readers!

2006-07-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

The Lake House

spent the day crashing my braincells to do those tedious maths sums. and i managed to catch "the lake house" on my desktop in e evening, after much reluctancy from last week, that is. because the start of the download was horrendous, the bloody recording person, was figuring out the right angle to capture the shoot in the cinema, see? privacy aint that purrrfect afterall! quite pathetic actually.

hate to say this, but im a sucker for chick flicks. and i sort of reckoned "the lake house" was gonna be another cheap-chick-flick-production. but surprising, my assumptions were very soon proved wrong. the storyline was heart-wrenching and romantic. bullock and reeves shared a chemistry that can't be readily explained. i think it's only nice that i not reveal the storyline/plot in this entry, because i suppose some of you are gg to catch it in e cinema this weekend. one word's for sure, it's a movie worth watching in the cinema, as for me, ive always been a miser. TEEHEE. so yah, i'd rather keep that $9.50 safe and sound in my wallet.

i am almost certain that those whom have watched the movie, have this confusion with the time puzzle in the story. well, it aint that complicated, really. but if you really do need clarifications, you could always nudge me online or drop me questions tags on my board. i'd be more than happy to clear your doubts.

as for the gist, i think the movie could have been improvised if they tried re-writting the script alittle. a few plot holes could have been eliminated.

but all in all, The Lake House has proved to be an intriguing piece of film for lovers of the romance genre. on a sidenote, could you believe it that reeve's actually 41 alr?

the red painter's here and i was planning on gg for a swim tomorrow, sighs. ive gt to reschedule everything again, i guess. and timbre's got the monthly fleamarket today. mom just wouldnt bring me there, so duper sad :( retail therapy's never enjoyable, not unless i bring mom along =X

last night, i spent sometime tossing and turning in bed. these nights, ive been having urges to just call up a contact in my mobile and ask of his/her well-being? i know it may sound alittle absurd but i guess, i just really am random a person. i wonder how everyone's been. i wonder how he's been, i wished i knew the right stuffs to do, the right words to say. but it all ended like an absolute tragic, now that we both have cut off all forms of contacts with each other, i feel so awful inside. imagine his hatred towards me, GRRRRR!

mate's been right. when it comes to matters of the heart, im always in such a pathetic state, always in a fix :(

2006-07-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

apologies for the lack of updates. it's been almost a week since i last blogged. but worry not, berney's still alive and kicking (incase youre wondering..) and yes, half of the time, shes been trying to mug studiously and the otherhalf, spent loitering with the naughty boys, GRRRR!

this week wasnt exactly pleasant. remember about the phone theft incident? well, i think i can almost drop the case. i was utterly pissed with myself, because i had all the assumptions and 'proofs' in my head. bt when i tried clarifying with my teacher, she just used all ways to burst my possible bubbles. i mean, hello? it GOT TO BE SOMEONE in class, isnt it? do you not want to bloody find out who is that THIEF in your class? i mean, look at it, youre e form teacher! i just couldnt bring myself to argue any further. she didnt seem too concerned anyws. so yes, it was very much a futile attempt. was sheer disappointed, a quater with e teacher and three-a-quater with myself. i thought i had it all in my head, but i stumbled and fell out of my own comfort. fuck man!

never mind about that. then 'toilet business' hasnt been too positive either, this week. lesson learnt for the week: "when nature calls, respond to it IMMEDIATELY, or else, consequences can be unbearable" and i thought i could withstand all the 'calls' and bombard the bowl in the house, i was almost devastated when the 'motions' just wouldnt come out. and not soon after, i was shitting blood, like, literally, RED BLOOD. eeeeew. sobsob. *fondles my buttocks*

thirdly, ive been puffing two weeks in a row, cant quite believe it either. but yah, i kept telling myself, it's just casualty, but i just stuff stick after stick into my mouth. GRRRR. not that they are addictions to me, but i just seem to find alot more comfort in puffing those. to make things worse, yeo gave me virgina slim cigarettes today, the box was as slim as a motorola v3, talk about my precious v3 :( and i should have known, my coughs weren't caused by the heaty-ness, but rather, those evil sticks. bt heys, it is e cigarette that kept me up and waking to blog this entry =P

alrights, done with the rantings for the night, i'd be back to blog again, hours later. because im meeting pui pui for a swim. maybe i'd post up some beautiful peektures? yeah, as for now, thanks for popping by my site. and yes, do not tempt me to club anytime between these 4 months. for i have decided to drop it temporary :)

and for now, im outta here, ciao!

2006-07-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

everytime you go away,
you take a piece of me with you..

and what good is a love affair,
when we can't see eye to eye?

something's amissed tonight, what is it?
*scratches head*

happy birthday, ziddy zid.

2006-07-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

tonight was incredibly well spent. with the perfect company, place and surprises! what more could i have asked for? first spot, met the clique at essential brew, reserved a place there, specially for yazid's birtday celebration. before that, met up with bestie to AMK to collect the birthday cupcakes. pictures as shown later in e post.

some hardcore planning really marked a perfect fullstop to tonight's celebration. having told zid we couldnt make it to buy him a cake, the surprise cupcakes just made him doubly elated. TEEHEE. almost moved to tears, esp when the whole crowd at EB went on to clap and cheer too :0)

to end the night off, finally got to catchup with rahimah. God, why did the hug feel expectionally warm? distance does make the heart grow fonder, doesnt it? could have seen it in her eyes, that she missed us all. afterall, life evolves around, practices, photoshoots and more fans. but this surprise meetup felt really good, esp the hugs(did i just repeat myself again?) eitherways, meeting up with old pals like them, really did make me super merry, elated and contented for the night.

shoutout to yazid before i forget,

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, ziddy zid!

youre very loved by the clique! each and everyone of us, smooches! the least we could for the night was to give you that mini surprise, love you tons!

okays, as promised, tons of visuals for the night. alot more on zid's camera. as for now, these will do the job :)

down the stairs..

presenting my favourite woman, YASMIN <3

ARTSY FARTSY~

yazid's, the scarf or what-not, i mean.

dearest birthday boy :)

the came-a-long-way cupcakes, PRETTY RIGHT?!

first birthday bite! ARRRRR~

clique photo :)

again..

yasmin, myrah and bern :) my two primary besties!

purple cupcake, me and darling yeo.

beautiful :)

at wala wala.

the lovely people.

naughty girls!

@ coffee bean's.

loooooo-sers!

SMILEY :)

ugly, but very MERRY ;)

the masculine, chubby and erm, boy.

hmm.. o_O

goodbye shoot :) i'd miss you, buddy!

as extracted from woman's site.

till next time, goodnight!

p/s: heys, i never knew you guys mattered this much, thanks for tonight!

2006-07-22T11:44:00.000+08:00

it was stick after stick last night.
glurping downs and constant puffings.
and the beers knocked me out entirely.
i hardly sleep before 3am on weekends.
but last night's booze just did.

woke up this morning.
only to realise ive lost the newly bought pair of earrings.
meaning, i was definitely alittle sobber.

been sniffing my fingers since last night
the aroma of the cigarettes
boy, i hope i aint addicted :(

2006-07-19T22:38:00.000+08:00

we all have our own principles in life.
i do, you do, we all do.
based on individual, we like to do things differently.
but the least you could do in respecting someone.
is to apply your own principle in your own life.
instead of applying your principle in other people's life,
it is basically, rude.

i felt offended and humiliated.

do you not have common sense or what?

2006-07-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

it's the lost of trust, rather than e physical phone itself.
the kind of approach he used, was so very wrong.
what kind of fucking responses were those?
you fucking think i lost the phone on purpose?
definitely didnt make me feel any better.
just when was the last time i broke down?
months? maybe dated back when i read his entries.

i just cant seem to find comfort in anyone.
though many are there for me.
you wouldnt believe everyone's reaction to my lost.
man, i am touched.
but sometimes my folks dont know how it feels to be a teenager, myself.
they think we're stress-free, carefree and very FREE.
which is so-not-true.
they dont know how hard im trying at this particular thing.
though i failed, i still do want to stay positive.

dont ask me if im crying. yes i am.

2006-07-18T18:53:00.000+08:00

hello world,

today definitely wasnt a good day for me. ive lost my mobile phone for the fourth time in the whole 17, gg 18 years of my life. i have mixed feelings about this whole incident. so much so that i can almost bash someone up till he goes to the hospital. i suspect a couple few people, but even so, i dont intend to do anything. i dont quite think i'd be able to recover it back.

i feel terribly upset, angry, pissed and paranoid. just how could i possibly have joy and sorrow both in one day? it's too much for me to take.

and for the thief, youre a son-of-a-bitch. some peabrain bastard/bitch. fucking go screw yourself, i hope youre down with HIV/cancer. too crude a comment? you dont fucking have any idea how important some texts inside the mobile are. fucking fuck that whore/loser.

dont text me people, i dont intend to own a phone. not for the time being.

the sad-est girl on earth,
bernice :(

2006-07-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

saw someone familar across the street today
like i'd put it..
the ending of every relationship
is the start of acquaintances
like as though we barely knew each other
i cant quite explain why
not even after having been through countless of them
now, thats e irony

when you know that you know who you love
you cant deny it
or go back
or give up
or pretend that you dont buy it
when it's clear this time you've found the one
you'll never let him go
cos you know and you know that you know

monday didnt start out too badly
except that i find no excitement in many things i do now
i wish people could have been more responsible for their doings

it's true that maturity grows with time,
but even so
it doesnt mean when youre an adult
youre mature
for one man spoke to me today
with the most ridiculous explanation
from t-shirts to self pride
i dont fucking see any linkage, like hello?

laser quest this friday i hope
bang bang! i shoot you down.

2006-07-16T20:25:00.000+08:00

second entry of the day. it's obvious that im bored. right now, i'd really like to account for my weird and strange behaviour these days. probably most havent noticed, but ive been recounting alot for days and havent been penning down much of a deep thought. okay, no one noticed it, just admit it.

im pretty taken back by myself, for ive been browsing through my mobile phone during the late nights, on bed, making attempt to text somebody whom i'd be able to pour out whatever i have in mind of a late. notice the word 'attempt', like i should have knew it. i never did make the next move in sending forth the texts.

probably i havent been engaging into sports. or maybe, im just plain lonely. it's terribly weird how i always turn to myself whenever something happens, then i'd start asking myself questions and yes, answer them myself. maybe i do have split personality afterall. im positive this aint pms. i just have thing against turning to a friend for consolation, theres only so much they can possibly console and suggest. to make things worst, some remarks in turn, sets you thinking even harder. someone did suggest me going to the shrink, then again, it isnt impossible that i really go ahead with it.

i dont know what ive been expecting from everyone. sometimes i'd like to think, maturity. you know how people laugh while saying someone's acting spastic, thinking it's funny. when the word's actually very crude a adjective to use? and im very disturbed by my mates whom tease each other about being from grace orchard. so many times i keep it to myself, but really, they wouldnt understand anyws. it wld be a futile attempt trying to bring my reasons across. i dont hate them, infact, as time pass by, i feel so emotionally attached to many, and to think that ive been able to see through many's character after 1 and a half year. all are lovely people except that there can be low frequency at times.

even while penning down these. im very pissed at myself for not being able to write fluently like many can. as much as i'd like to be positive and give myself a occasional pat on the shoulder, i think im slowly running low on my determination.

what a mentally draining and physically torturous marathon. im dying..

mommy's been so naggy these days. you wont believe what ive said to keep her mouth shut sometimes. i didnt like doing it, but seriously, theres a limit to my tolerance. even the two words 'shut up!' has lost its meaning along the days. sighs.

the least im hoping for, is a busy and packed schedule away from home for a week. now, home's getting a mild claustrophobic, hasnt it?

and i dont think such a messy work station is helping me build up on my level of patience..

2006-07-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

alittle recount for the week..

ive made two trips to NUH for the week. both times, for my followup appointments. one was due to nose allergy and the other, my binge drinking case. both dealed with minor procedures. the earlier, they did a scoop down my nostril, i swear it was digusting and painful, i even wanted to sneeze in the middle of the scoop and the next thing i knew, he quickly pulled the tube out and i sneezed. imagine the sudden removal. yuck!

as for the later, i had to do a blood test, because i used to suffer from chronic pancreatitis. where the breaking down of my glucose could be a major problem if i continue binge drinking, then my pancreas wont be able to function well. the injecting of needles was relatively okay, it's true that im pretty immuned to such physical pain. but the sight of tubes filled with my blood, made me go weak in my knees. sheesh.

every trip to the hospital seems to be an emotionally attached one. always a whole new experience and an eye opener for me. from the beautiful arrival of a human being to the departure of some.

anyws, i cant wait for saturday! shall not disclose what's gonna happen. because the pictures then will say it all. i hope everything goes as planned. it'd be hella fun, i hope. TEEHEE.

it's 1315 and daddy's still snuggling up soundly in bed. such a bummer, no wonder kelvin and i take after his genes. *sniggers* am staying in today, to catchup on my revision, tv and most importantly, do facial! MUAHAHAHAHA. i hope the family dines out tonight. would love to join zid and myrah later to ICON. but ehs, i better be good today. TEEHEE. have fun you two pooty. BAAAAA~

oh boy, i feel like napping! *yawns*

sidenote: dearest classmate, you-know-who-you-are, probably you should learn watching your words. because everything that you say, usually has no humour effects, like you wish it would. rather, your remarks are nonsensical, redundant, inordinate and truly, un-needed. talk about maturity, youre lacking too much of it. shut up, because you are receiving too many a critcism from majority. trouble will not befall you, not unless you choose to open your foul mouth. period.

2006-07-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

daddy's out with buddies
kelvin's out for rugby training
mom's outside buying dinner
while im lazing and munching infront of the tv

shopping trip's cancelled due to unforseen situations
it's okay
afterall, channel 5's airing 'america sweethearts' tonight at 1030pm
TEEHEE
i so love that movie
tonight im staying in! woohoo~ (but im still having e coffee cravings)
i better expect some revision to be done
incase i decide to head out tmr

allow me to share a music video clip..

stevie wonder - dont you worry bout a thing

2006-07-15T13:49:00.000+08:00

last night was spent particularly at two spots. orchard topshop and coffee club express. it was sheer shopping, dining, fagging and catchingup. with whom?

yes, our dearest yeo. TEEHEE.

while waiting..

snapping away :)

ordered tons of stuff, but as itchy as our mouth got, ordered a fondue. TEEHEE.

happy girl.

lets hide!

fondue was so so so good *satisfactory*

jieying:"bernice, smile for e camera!"

enchanting..

afterwhich, headed to bukit timah to play pool. metup with my classmates. hurhur. i hardly blog about my class, indeed. dont ask me why..

upon waking up this morning, saw everyone's gloomy expression. only to know, our car got scratched by some son-of-a-bitch last night. it wasnt merely just one small scratch mark, but rather, the mark ran from the front all the way to the rear. have reported to the police alr and erm, think we know who's e culprit. but investigation's still gg on. should have seen daddy's very sad face :( aww~

anyws, am meeting mommy later to town. i hope the plan goes as planned. theres sale everywhere you know? *smirks* i dont want the mighty tees anymore, i want an armani exchange tee!

i cant quite explain this feeling
it's the thumping of my heart when i hear from you
the second thoughts to whether i should text you
because i dont wish to be a pest
it's the butterflies i get in my tummy
and i dont enjoy it
it's a matter of time that i get over such infatuation..
i hope
nope
i must

2006-07-13T18:25:00.000+08:00

fucking fuck, fuck this fucker, who cant even fucking read simple chinese. i fucking screwed my oral exam. so fucking angry, fucking want to pull that trigger of the pistol and shoot myself down. fucking pissed with myself, cant i fucking think before i speak? fuck man.

sorry that the entry's filled with the f word. cant quite help it. fucking feel like skipping school tmr, guess the cash has come in just at the right time. fucking need to splurge. fucking feel like smashing the glass. even bananaramas' cant cheer me up a single bit. i am so fucking pathetic and stupid!

im so fucking dead this time.

and this made me even fucking angrier. c.ronaldo's very hated, and wont be back to man utd i heard. think he's probably gg leeds, afterall, england doesnt want this guy there. sighs. poor boy.

HOT's the word, baby.

2006-07-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

Guess what i saw online..

click here

OKAY, close your dropped jaws. it aint REAL!

HAHAHAHA. our little devil, NIGEL typed it. and boy, was i shocked when it looked so real, like as though it appeared on the papers. teehee :) why the hell would i need to extort their peanut pocket money right? DUH. nigel, try harder at the grammars and adjective-misuse. MUAHAHAHAHA!!

aint able to blog much these days. days' been real hectic and busy. will blog a hell load this weekend! ive saved enough to go on a spree, teehee. i smell clothessss this weekend :)

2006-07-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

IPOD NANO (4GB) FOR SALE

white, slim and sleek. fits anywhere, even in e pocket's of your levi's jeans. priced at $250 now, but the person with highest bid will get it. interested parties, email me at yap_bernice@hotmail.com. questions and enquiries may be posted on my tag, but biddings, please email me privately.

ipod's condition is 6/10. im being real frank and honest here, with scratches at the back. it's working incredibly well now, and remember, 4GB! with photo views, saves up to 1000 songs, games and storage for contacts details. package comes with everything, from cable, installation CD ROM to even the IPOD's apple stickers.

a cannibal and his son

2006-07-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

A cannibal and his son are going to look for food. They hide behind some bushes and waited for someone to come by.

After a few minutes, a skinny man comes by. The son says "How about him, dad?" "No," says the father, "he's too skinny."

A short time later, a fat man wanders by. "What about that guy, dad?" asks the son. "Too much cholesterol."

A little later, a pretty, 20 year old lady walks by. The son asks, "Dad, how about her?" The father replies "Yes! Let's take her home and eat your mother!"

2006-07-09T03:31:00.000+08:00

site revamped!

i like the simplicity yet sophiscated layout :)

was in e ultimate mood to catch the match now. but e irony is, having made all e effort to stay awake, so as to catch e match, i drained myself out while using up all my brain juice to improvise the initial html codes.

anyws, ive placed my bet on portugal once again. will know the results when i check e papers tmr morning. i better tuck in, am meeting cheeyon for my long deprived tanning session early at 9am.

psst, i really like my dimple boy. i swear he's hunky, cute and very click-able :o) TEEHEE.

i want to go ZOUK on wednesdayssssssss!! no, one shall be good and resist. resist! resist! resist!

mustafaaaaaaaaaa~

2006-07-08T13:02:00.000+08:00

last night was my virgin trip to mustafa. as a matter of fact, ive heard soooo much about the place, so i thought, why not check it out myself! and the conclusion? i loveeeeeeeeee that place. if youre e racist sort, probably you cld fucking drop the idea of heading there. except that you'd be missing out on real good bargains. they practically have got EVERYTHING you need in e building. what's more! there are plenty of delicious eateries.

before mustafa, was at blue jazz cafe(just as recommended by zid). the place's pretty neat good. if you like jazz, thats definitely the place to be!

let the peektureeees do the work, babey~

finger foodies :)

blue jazz cafe!

me, promoting the no smoking campaign.

mustafa!

runaway~!

expressionssssss :0)

aye. i think my dimple guy's superbly HOT. i like himmmmmmm~

serendipity: a fortunate accident

2006-07-07T15:34:00.000+08:00

theres this thing about me(incase you do not know). i hardly go to the cinema to do movies. rather, i'd prefer a private time alone in e room, renting old flicks and do them all over and over again. who cares about 'superman' and what not that's airing in your cinema now? it's these old flicks that rocks my socks. furthermore, you cld see theyve gt neater plot and storyline, as compared to those pathetic chick flick and whatsoever animations on the screens of the halls filled with creepy majority who does not know when's the right time to laugh at what. what's with spending $9.50 on a movie when you merely have to fork out a few dollars more to obtain a piece of it and enjoy it at the comfort of your home?

serendipity was relatively good. except that i doubt such coincidence happens in real life. for he took years to find that woman whom he merely spent a few precious hours with. she says fate's a sign, accident's the outcome. probably the storyline's alittle too cliche, because it's one of those, "searching for your other half" sort of thing. well, at least it's good enough for me to watch it twice, urged me to go online and search on its script. still, neat movie.

'serendipity', a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident. and yes, as absurd as it may be, the movie really did resemble a large part of my journey with him. it's no wonder, he kept urging me to watch it.

do you smell something? i do! i smell the weekendddddddddddddd~ TEEHEE.

huat ar!

2006-07-05T19:05:00.000+08:00

im proud to announce, it's MIDWEEK! which means, we're just two days away from the weekend! probably the most anticipated days around. as for this weekend, i want to get a good tan, play squash, go shopping for al-mighty tees at newurbanmale, get my shopping sling, satisfy my cravings for late night coffee at bistro.

and for that to take place without a glinch, i must win tonight's game. Oh Lord, i havent been on a shopping spree for the longest time. you do know your precious little girl here has a pathetic wordrobe, dont you? i know it's my bad to bet, at least i did it legally at singapore pool's. so yup, allow me to collect my winnings tmr purleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!

i need my frequent dose of evening jogs. my face's getting F A T, need i say more? im outta here!

screams: *it's midweeeeekkkk*

day well spent, definitely!

2006-07-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

day was awfully well spent. HAHAHAHA. i meant it in a good way :) just as planned, metup with my all-time-favourite-girlfriend-bestfriend, however you call a precious and special one. the catching up was so very good! spent the entire afternn and evening at holland village, with yazid's presence much later.

was at essential brew, everything was thumbsup! the ambience, food, service and needless to say, the best company you cld ever have! you people better envy me! TEEHEE. it was work+chilling+catchingup. whoever says you cant have the best of three worlds? i just did! infact, im gg back for more, it'd definitely soon be my favourite hideout.

busking road just at yr eye's view.

cosy! empty because it was early afternoon.

neat, and i love it!

smile, precious.

feeling ball-ish. TEEHEE.

bestie love <3

tea for three!

all in all, a splendid day! and yasmin darling, im sorry that i kept calling off our meetups. sorry for my random and very last minute dates. lesson learnt, never to meet the next day i go drinking on the night. TEEHEE. we'd meet again soon, each meetup will get better, till we'll cry when we part okays?! HAHAHAHA. pls take care and be good.

need a breather

2006-07-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

'love is' by vanessa williams and brian mcknight's been repeatedly playing on the desktop. sounds new everytime it replays, wonder why. guess im empty and too stiff for any thoughts tonight, after the conversation vomit with him.

lifted the block off his nick and greeted 'hello'. the aftermath? virtual obnoxious response from both parties. he hates me, who am i kiddin? his assurance has always been the best comfort. but during times like these, a simple confession means a whole lot. his insecurity with getting involved with me, i can almost sense it. all the hurt i used to bring to him, the pain of losing me. the mental torture i gave him, for not responding to his texts and phonecalls. today, i had my feed of a benefit of a doubt. he says i should watch 'serendipity', reckon it reminds him of us. he doesnt see my effort in bringing us back tgt as friends, probably he sees me as a selfish partner/friend. just whats e possibilty of me making up to someone? virtually zero! alot of things dont go the way we want it, he tried, bt i disappeared, now that im trying, he's walking away. i guess, love really is a two way street.

"there's gonna be some residual emotions"
"like how every time i walk down the esplanade now i'd think of you?"
"that aint gonna change.. not for sometime anyway" he said.

tears just found its way down my cheeks, somehow. i dont know what to do, brain block, darn it. im speechless, empty and very drained. maybe, perhaps, must be. havent felt this hurtful for sometime. recount, he was the last person that made me cry. think we need a breather away from each other, for another half a year or something. im getting paranoid.

goodnight.

my last words..

2006-07-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

times like this
when my thoughts get ambiguous
i'd dread blogging

ive decided to take a break from the publicity
everything's too judgemental, dont you think
cant some people be more judicious?

until something MAJOR occurs
im keeping this space empty
or perhaps
till the low period's over

special thanks to my loyal readers.
hugs and kisses <3

p/s: quit using profound words when you cant bloody spot yr pathetic grammer mistakes, bimbos!

caught the flu bug :(

2006-06-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

it's only day two of the new semester and im almost half dead. it's proven this afternoon, that napping does wonders to the human body! it totally revitalised my whole body, soul and mind! fwah :)

no doubt, this semester's pace is hella fast. im left with 4 more pathetic months and like the cliche saying "this is the last 100 metre dash". infact, time passed with a blink of an eye, and im still not quite certain of what the hell im doing now. Adamn Khoo's workshop was *thumbsup*, the millionaire himself actually spent half a day with us, sharing his life experiences. well, they probably say such sense of motivation wouldnt last long, i think it differs amongst each individual. as for me, i think it has more or less built a strong will in me. explains why im up, drawing up the 4months study schedule :)

to begin with, no more procrastination! it's EVIL!

Adam Khoo's right, I decide my worth!

on a side note, we were shown a mildly edited version of 'coach carter' and i was reminded of the times, when my ex-coach designed sets of training drills after much influence by the show's 'suicides'. to think of it, i am amazed that i even survived through those very tedious and muscle-cramping trainings which would very often led us to walking like ducks the next few days. HAHAHAHA. no kidding, sitting on the toilet bowl itself was hell a tortureous stunt to do. then, i swear we dread peeing. aww~ sometimes, it's always nice to reminisce those good-old-times. who cares whatever happened after that, it was that moment of sheer madness, happiness and fun :o)

and i caught myself off guard, standing near the basketball court, staring at the empty court, recalling all those trainings/ matches times. all the cheerings, trainings under the sorching sun, sheesh. one day, just give me one day after the olevels, i'd want to relive them once again, with all the usual team mates. then again, the silly truth is, thats almost an absurd thought.

somethings are better off as fond memories.

as i end this entry off, while Kelvin sent me to school day, we heard this on class95.

lady A: check out that hunk!
lady B: eeeeeek. he's stupid! he's got his brains grown in between his legs!
lady A: oh! you could trying blowing his mind!

MUAHAHAHAHA.

p/s: TERESA. please get well soon! we're not gonna club, not unless it's ZOUK alrights? teehee.

2006-06-26T22:26:00.000+08:00

why do some pp not have common sense, even at the age of seventeen? i thought they should have grown out of their imaturity phase? yes? no? lets just say, some pp do not use their God given faculties to analyse situations. oh, but i blame them not, afterall, this pathetic classmate of mine came up to me, and greeted me 'hello'. the truth is, i dont appreciate pp whom do not use their darn brain to THINK before they open their mouth. i am FRIENDLY by nature, but if you happen to step on my tail, GOODBYE you go. so, dont try too hard to please me or even try being friendly, because it wouldnt help. not the least bit. worry not, i draw a line between YOU and whosoever. need i even declare your GOLDEN name here? i hope not?

oh, lets be brutally honest, i hope everyone sees this! i dont quite care how you feel though, since you didnt even bother about mine. you know what? if you ever try stepping on my tail once again, i swear i'd throw my stapler right in your face. who cares about seeing the principal? PATHETIC people like you deserve no respect.

some pathetic senseless, God-knows-what loser, youre just a sore to my eye.

2006-06-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

this is it..

ENOUGH PLAY, time to HIT THE BOOKS.

goodnight world, wonderwoman needs to sleep alr. she has to attend school tmr, TEEHEE. look out for wonderwoman in HUAYI! LOL.

night out @ OBAR

2006-06-25T05:55:00.000+08:00

boy, am i sick of clubbing. thank goodness the company's good. i'd not do clubbing for at least a month, BLAH. anyws, as intended, the trio headed to Obar. why there? for one, jugs go at $12 :) and i saw MICHEAL WONG. fwah, he is still as handsome and suave as ever. *drools* teehee. but unfortunately, the age limit's stiff high. it says 25.

presenting OBAR in MS, just next to dbl O.

club's entrance :)

and did i mention, barcardi breezer goes for only $4 per bottle?

BOY~ do i love my hair's tail.

when e club was FULL. we came out for breather.

SOCCER madness!

chillout bar.

Batman and Robin were in the house! see? ROBIN likes me, he held on to me! save me! save me! LOL.

comeon! lets squeeze for a peekture!

stupid tiffane!

tiffane's very handsome dressing. Oh btw, she is SINGLE and AVAILABLE. girls interested in her, tag me! erm, logically, it only applies to FEMALES.

i say, the music's good(they play RNB), drink's good, chillout bar's good, crowd's good but the age of the crowd was alittle too stiff old for us. eitherways, i still like it at Obar. maybe we should try dbl O next time? hmm. afterwhich, headed to clubmomo at 330am, because it's free entry then. what the poot. the bouncer checked on tiff's and teresa's face against their ID. and didnt even bother to check mine! AAAARRRRRRRRR. i feel so old :( anyws, I AM older than them by one year what! my ID bears that i am 20 years old =P

of all 3 visits to clubmomo. i get disappointed. because everything simply sucks. the music, the cheena crowd and very beng-ish, lian-ish clubbers. eeeeew~ ZOUK's the best! maybe we should go next month, for the femme pagent. TEEHEE. wait, i dont wanna clubbbbbbbbbb anymore!

CLUB MOMO. pole dancing and what-not.

In e club's TOILET.

outside MOMO.

arr. i was almost penniless after late supper. was waiting for e bus, until this guy with his friends kept lookinh at me. LOL. asked him about the last bus and guess what! there werent nightriders anymore! ohboy, he and his friends insisted that they send me home. well, for that, i have to thank them. but i hesitated, because ehs, it aint that safe? afterall, they live in the EAST. so yup, i appreciate it anyws. tried my luck at hiring a cab, confessed that i had $15 on hand. he was gg back to jurong, so he decided on claiming the balance from me tomorrow. YEAH!~ but i gt alittle worried when he made me call his mobile phone and asked of, where's my boyfriend. then i laughed it off, and said that small matters like this, i can take care of it myself.

school's starting on monday (technically tomorrow) and theres Adam Khoo's workshop. i think it's a good thing, because having to STUDY literally on day one really dampen moods. so.. yippie! except that it's from 8am to 9pm. BLAH.
the two men in the family, actually gave me a surprise this morning. i sure was elated. because they actually made the effort to wake up early to head over to CREATIVE center and bought me speakers. and they cost some bloody $400++. geez. i was surprised, very.. esp when Kelvin greeted me a cheerful good morning.

enough said. im soooooooo tired from the night of sheer madness and fun. Big thank you to both of them :) and JIAYAN backed out on us :( we'll meet again soon, probably after my Olevels or something ogays? in the meanwtime, BOTH of you better miss me! esp TIFFANE, because im her self declared girlfriend. LOL!!

smile :)

pencils found!

2006-06-24T04:33:00.000+08:00

hello world. ive found my sketching pencils! i need not spent unworthy money on those costly wooden sticks again, afterall! anyws, i spotted them lying beneath my bed. it was kind of spooky at the thought of it though, because if it should have been there for the whole time, mom would have picked it up, because she sweeps the floor every night. eerie? very! now that it's next to me, i'd just make sure i take good care of them :o)

im meeting the trio tmr! the thought of it excites me totally. because i cant wait to see tiffane get wasted again. TEEHEE :) and i hope jiayan doesnt back out on us, i miss her though, that horny bitch whom kept forcing me to watch porn years ago(and was discovered by my brother!) okays, lets not get too much into it. eitherways, i hope tmr's a day, or rather, night well spent. catching up after afew year's real fun :) maybe after the meetup, we should quit contacting for years then meetup again? TEEHEE. no, let us get wasted all together tmr night! as much as i say club momo sucks, i think tmr's company will make it real dazzling fun :)

on another note, i was packing the room and stumbled on these, primary school letters! awww~ ive gt enough letters to fully fill a shoe box can?

and check out what my dad's been up to on my bed.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! this mister drives me nuts most of the times, but yeah, he makes me loveee him alot too. Daddy's the best!(when he gives me plenty of money $$)

im too tired to take any men seriously, really.

2006-06-23T04:51:00.000+08:00

when i whipped out my drawing block and went on to search for my sketching pencils, i realised they are no where in sight. which equals to, ive lost my sketching pencils. just when ive gt inspirations, the pencils go missing. and i cannot tone the sketches with mechanical pencils :(

when one comes, the other goes.

the forgotten?

2006-06-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

it's official! im not worthy a friend. ive been reflecting on myself and ive begin to realise so many flaws in myself. im ignorant, ungrateful, selfish and incompliant a person. infact, i dont remember people's birthdates, mobile number nor any special occassions. a speaker once mentioned "we dont have poor memory, it's only that we dont make enough impression, or rather, the effort to remember something". for that, i agree totally. not unless youre talking about people in their late 70s. ive never liked doing things for others, never. and ive got this thing with maintaining relationships with people. explains why im always fucked(not physically, retard!) by those whom i care of. blame it on my ego, my self pride. but when things are getting out of hand, like right now, im just left dangling on the death rope. i dont like to bring the thought of myself as a failure, i mean, everyone have got flaws, exactly. but im very bothered, of what i can do to recuperate this ugly situation between me and her.

do i not matter to you, anymore?

ladies night at Zouk

2006-06-22T05:43:00.000+08:00

just reached home. and i thought i might as well update before i go lala land. alot of visuals in this post though. so yes, as promised, tonight was clubbing night, tgt with tiffane and teresa. it's been so long since we last met and i think everything feels like the same, friendship i mean. the never ending squabbles about being inferior due to my height, kiddish giggles and yes, they actually boogie-down on the dancefloor. it was quite an accomplishment wasnt it, guys?
anyws, MOS was boring stiff for the night. happens whenever youre anticipating for something, always happens to screw up. didnt even manage to get my goodie bag. took the cab tgt with gary though, million thank yous. left MOS within half an hour i suppose.

styling their hair in the toilet. BLAH.

presenting Tiffane!

and Teresa!

and as usual, i cam whored. teehee :)

then headed to zouk. of all clubs ive been to, i just havent been to zouk. and i swear zouk's hell better compared to MOS. music was thumbs up. and boogie-down was so very good with the two mad ass-es. except that we glurped down 4 jugs which resulted tiffane in puking and getting God damn wasted. ohyes, phuture's good man, esp e music :) teehee, aww~ bumped into many people, surprisingly.

the very packed dancefloor.

bar place.

glurping down!

tiff's obviously mad and drunk.

see? shes all flushed!

aww~ plenty of loves <3

the happy three :)

and we thought that guy's super retro!?

sheer madness+happiness

when tiffane's drunk..

teresa and i can care-no-less, but to CAM WHORE. teresa, youre sucha bastard! LOL.

cheeky :)

when tiff got all wasted on the toilet's floor. MUAHAHAHA~ silly.

Teresa glows in the dark! wowwwww~

nice ambience :)

afterwhich, met up with an online friend at zouk. because we did mention about hitting to zouk today. and we sort of compromised in sharing cab back to jurong. sorry that i left first, guys, apologises :) and i think tiffane's addicted to clubbing, she wants to club next wednesday, AGAIN? i cannot stand clubbing so often man, not anymore :( so yup, met up with edwin. HAHAHAHA. we found no problem in chatting on e cab itself, infact, we even went to Macs to grab a bite before he walked me home. thank you dude :) all in all, a wonderful day :)

so very tired. im turning in, night or rather, Good Morning!

boo to England

2006-06-21T04:33:00.000+08:00

England's match against Sweden was utterly bullshit. the most anticipated pair, owen and rooney were starters. only 2 minutes to the game, micheal owen injured his knee again.

rooney played poorly and was benched after 63rd minute. could have seen his anguish look when he slammed his soccer boots.

final score was 2-2. such disappointment. this was a 'can-win' match judging from first half as it was pretty good, 1-0, joe cole scored the very first goal.

2nd goal was by steven gerrad whom substituted rooney, wise decision indeed.

England's defence was so darn poor and the game was too rushy to score. God damn the Sweds. they are gg against Germany anyws, could almost predict they'll get trashed. while England's gg against Eucadas, which will be played on Saturday night i reckon, good thing. can watch with the ass-es. teehee :o)

somewhat, crouch reminds me of my first year in Home Utd. the team think's youre of benefit to them, but youre just plain unsure of how to go about bringing out the best in yourself. BLAH.

very disappointing game. even blurted 'chao chee bye' to Gary. i swear this was a lousy game man. complete bloody waste of my time. and ho-ho, people's gonna lose money like fuck.

insomnia AGAIN

2006-06-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

BLAH.
i cant sleep
as usual
despite feeling tired
this is madness okay
sighs.

anyways
i came to blog that
MAK TING YUAN
is the sweetest guy ever
he personally made 5 crumpler stickers for me
imagine the effort
fwah!
upon knowing that i cant get to slp
he insisted that i msg him although he's out with his buddies
arrrrr~ you sweet little thang
love you so muchhhhhhhhhhhh~
i think he deserves more than just a mini nike soccer boots

p/s: he isnt my boyfriend.

ouch~

2006-06-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

i had my eyebrows threaded today
pain factor: ****/5stars -ouch!-
but i swear she did a good job, they look stiff neat. coolshit
and it cost me merely 5bucks, good deal ehs
now that the bushy brows are gone, im a happier girl alr :)

afterwhich
went to holland village, the place has changed pretty much hasnt it
then headed to queensway to alter my levis'
the aunties were out to cheat my money, AUNTARDS!
ive gotten myself a clutch
very well accomplished day indeed

special thanks to yazid:
youre not boring alrights?
for you have a world of friends
just me, myrah and linin is enough alr
we're enough to rock the world's ass-es
keep smiling
till then, please decide on an exact date to go wala wala

teresa:
tmr zouk dont have fashion show can. the invite i gotten with me mentions no fashion show tmr. piak that tiffane ar. msg me tmr ogays? MOS then ZOUK. cant wait. i want to slap your chest and poke tiffane. i dont know what to wear :( should i go do my hair instead? MUAHAHAHA. yes, im a vainpot, shuddup. see you two mad ass-es tmr. ohyes, holland village has ESKI bar. teehee.

im totally drained out for the day
and something's once again amissed
wonder what or whom it is
allrights
im turning in real early tonight

i love daddy <3

smile :)

2006-06-20T01:56:00.000+08:00

it's 1:52am
im here on msn with tiff and teresa
all well prepared for wednesday's nightout to club
they want to wear singlets and boxers to zouk
and i want those goodie bags in MOS
i hope we'll have fun till i puke my guts out
it's been 197335 years since we met
tiff's got braces i see
and none of them are straight
i say it's ~~lesbian's~~ night out.

okay, seriously.
im very intimidated by his superficial closure
God knows i like beefy and hunky man like him
i dont mind him stalking me 24/7 like he mentioned so
and he says i'd be hitched this year
now thats the sweetest part
but wait, im still very taunted by his honesty
he's way too honest about everything that he says
i think he's cute, beefy and hot
with dimples that can melt me straight
oh God, im not even ready!

2006-06-19T18:52:00.000+08:00

i woke up this early afternoon, only to scream(with no echos). why so?

I LOST MY VOICE!

and the tedious part came when i went down to the kopitiam to buy lunch. remember, voiceless! could only opt for takeaway mixed vegetable rice, where i used hand-signals to initiate 'takeaway' (with the wrap over gesture) and pin pointed to the dishes i wanted. then the uncle went on, asked if i lost my voice. and i gave that sneer. HUR. obviously?

damnit. i cannot even bloody pick up the phonecalls. cld only message and tell them ive lost my voice. sorry people, if you need to, sms me instead.

sob. then again, what did i do to lose my voice huh?

brazil to the second round

2006-06-19T01:58:00.000+08:00

brazil has advanced to the 2nd round of the fifa world cup with 2:0 against australia! god, those australians looked beefy enough for rugby rather than soccer though. hurhur. ronaldo got sub out in the 2nd half, ar. he was probably too fat to run. missed alot of shots, together with kaka. blah. just like england, i dont think brazil's very impressive. but heck, im gonna support them both. eh, frankly, australia has got good bench players. aww~ too bad.

anyone spotted harry kewell? he's the man of the match for australia's side though, he's pretty hot.

anyways.

spent the day over at sentosa, tanning! yippie~ but in e midst of it all, i was real dissed about falling out with dad for the past few days. so ehs, cheeyon had to more or less put up with my foul temper. hee :)

oh! i swear im slimmer today. HAHAHA~

check out those ah lian ear piercings. hurhur.

sighs. been having a really bad headache since the start of the match. havent subside at all, stupid. im off to sleep. for once, im rather early.

goodnight.

randomism for the night

2006-06-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

they say time waits for no one
even if it does
it's probably an illusion
just like im rewinding the happy times

if given a chance
would you have given me more time for an explanation?
if given the chance
would you choose me over them?
if i am given the chance
i'd tell you
im missing you right this minute this second

but there is only this much i can take
so i might as well let it go
maybe it'll allow me to feel better
dont try dont hope
just tell me

what to do

2006-06-17T16:13:00.000+08:00

tada! i sort of miss school actually. i said SORT OF okay? shut up.

2006-06-17T14:08:00.000+08:00

GRRR. table's messy once again. *dreads packing* anyws, it was a late night meetup with seb last night. apparently he snapped the ligaments on the flatbed of his feet or something. poor boy. aww~ with his feet all bandaged, he still made his way to my place to pass me the dvds! AARRRR~ hell nice right? *touched* then we chatted and chatted.. only to see my brother and cousin back from watching the worldcup. as usual, brother didnt look too convinced about us. convinced as in.. he has never liked any of my friends. while ive been dying to know his bestfriend, Spencer, better. the very intellectual looking RJC bestfriend of my brother. okay, drifting.. bernice, shut up! so yes, we merely exchanged discs to watch. and yadadada.

am supposed to go tanning with cheeyon this morning. but erm, we overslept for the 4th time in a row. hurhur. pathetic bummers. we'd go tmr, that i can assure! holiday homeworks still left untouched. think i'd go through them tonight or something. but underwear wants to go catch some coffee and play ball tonight! yippie!~ and yes, the other night when i metup with yon to catch dinner, while sharing the table with this man, he asked me "is he your husband?" (referring to cheeyon) yucks! imagine my disgusted expression and i replied like "no! we are just friends." shuckkksss!! cheeyon, you shldnt hang around too much with me, else youre depriving my chances of getting e boyfriend you know? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! so we're getting this tingling feeling that i'd get a boyfriend soon. HAHAHAHAHA. sheer madness, but thanks eitherway, buddy!

like seb triggered me with a rather sudden question. if love comes knocking on my door NOW, will i accept it? wait, something fishy? HAHAHA. nolah, im happier this way, like.. im leading an absolute carefree and merry singlehood. im very afraid of those squabbles and verbal violence once again though. worse, i dont want to cry over some little matters, okays. was reminded of somethings last night. while chatting with teresa that is. i can still remember what soft and tender lips my ex boy had. fwahhhh~ LOL. and erm, we were on this issue about waiting for the one. sighs. it only strucked me that, he and i went through some really unsmoothing jounrney, one that erm.. wont be forgotten. imagine us sobbing over each other, guess i liked him alot. awww~ what am i saying.

sorry for the ramblings though.

2006-06-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

today i made a worthless trip to the apple store (AGAIN?! yes!) as a matter of fact, this IPOD hasnt seem like it likes me alot. because it's been corrupting again and again AND again AND again. so yup. the guy merely helped me restore the toy. damnit. not worth mentioning about, right cheeyon? BLAH.

nothing new infact. except that theres this WHOLE group of gatsby models strolling down that whole damn orchard, in skimpy two piece tube top and skirt. yucks! and giving out facial scrubs FOR MEN. i kept pushing cheeyon to take MORE then he'd be able to have a whole year supply of facial scrub. see? aint i one nice friend? hiakhiak!

nothing much for e day. cheeyon had his other ear pierced, i bought the special one a tinnie winnie cutie nike soccer boots keychain and yes, cheeyon and i took neoprints! it's been 783353 years since i took them. rather stupid i'd say. but we definitely had no problems posing for e camera. hurhur.

CHAK!

look who's the dominating one huh? HAHAHAHA!

something decent.. aww~

all in all, a splendid day, thank you buddy, CHEEYON!

2006-06-16T03:53:00.000+08:00

i went on to yahoo.com and searched 'rahimah singapore idol blogspot.com', with the initial thought of seeing who's going ga ga over her. infact, MANY, and im glad. except for one blog, or rather, one bitch in particular. who devoted one chunk of bullshits on rahimah. okay, one thing is.. she doesnt know rahimah. that, i personally have to confess that she does seem alittle too scary on screen. but what the fuck is her pussy's problem to hurl vulgarities at males whom are mesmerised by her? the truth is, she CAN sing. you dont freaking like her, just back off! arrr. i know why, that bitch's malay and so fugly, shes probably upset Rahimah's getting all e attention rather than she is. physically you didnt have to look pretty to begin with, it's yr darn brain that determines your prettiness, DUH. okay, i shldnt be fuming over such sparstic and logic-less entry of hers.

eitherways, rahimah's got fans who has done a blogspot for her and erm, a couple few skins too. so sweet! aww~

p/s: for rahimah's fans out there. i'd sell her mobile number and home number for a cheap price of $50 each. any takers? HAHAHAHA.

elo? you think i would?

frankly speaking, shes still that bubbly and abit 'lunatic' Rahimah that ive always known of. whether shes an IDOL or not, she still appeal outright the same to me. hmm. good luck, my friend.

2006-06-16T01:57:00.000+08:00

as you can see. i cant wait to blog this. but erm..

ENGLAND WON!!!!!

England secured their place in the round of 16 of the FIFA World Cup with a 2-0 victory over Trinidad and Tobago! yesyes. first half was boring shit. was following the match entirely through the internet. which is erm, as efficient i would say. so yup. now i hate myself for not getting my ass out of the damn house to watch the match! phew~ first goal at the 83rd minute by crouch, with much help by beckham and erm another goal(good goal, that is)by garrard at the 91st min from the right channel left high with his left foot . yoohoo!~ and to spice things up, rooney got to play. i was praying all time that they'd send him forth. everyone's pretty much like me, dying to see him in action, isnt it? afterall, he IS our wonderboy. HAHAHA. though he lacked of sharpness for the match, he sure did bring up England's fluency. obviously, dont expect too much from a man not fully recovered from his foot injury. furthermore, i think his presence did help in bringing up the team's morale. better play next time, so i say, always expect the unexpected, or rather, nothing's quite final until the whistle's blown ;)

sidenote: notice both scorer's from liverpool? damnit. ohwells.

p/s: swear to watch the next England match LIVE, right in my England jersey.

goodnight. im so duper happy!

erm, did i mention crouch's pretty cute? like, stick cute?

2006-06-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

look what i stumbled on, in jason's friendster gallery?

think this was taken early this year. hurhur.

2006-06-15T00:57:00.000+08:00

cheeyon and i were on this conversation about underage clubbers. and i quoted: "i mean, if you are underage and you LOOK underage dont bloody club". okay, if YOU want to, just bloody go attend those underaged parties lah. why the toot even ask me to smuggle you in? eeeeeeeeeek. not as if you will look older around me, right? im pretty fumed by this, because i bloody do get such requests and to make it worse, i dont bloody know them. like hello? i dont OWN the damn club okay. and i havent quite spoke to you before and am not the least bit interested.

maybe it's just ovulation.

anyws, ipod's working, FINALLY!

ohwait. where is pickle?

2006-06-14T19:16:00.000+08:00

my head's been spinning all night and day. i wonder what's wrong, then i'll get all nauseous, not very good :( so i popped one sleeping pill last night at exactly 1130pm and i slept all the way till 1pm this afternn. more than 12 hours, yes. *bestow the sleeping pill* the thing is, i really do not want to be too reliant on the pill for nature sleep. sighs.. and all they say is, relax your mind! right, not like i dont want to?

yesterday was spent at 2 places, particularly the polyclinic(am to be referred to NUH) and wheel locks' place (fix my god-damn IPOD and browsing through numerous books, esp foxtrot at borders). i felt like a happy kid once again, roaming around borders, reading my all time favourite comic, 'foxtrot'. cld you imagine, i can actually finish 5 very thick of them within one day? while i take days to complete ONE comprehensions! hehe. *long-live FOXTROT* i spent hours in there and finally bought a novel, titled 'the sad truth about happiness'.

afterwhich, metup with sharon for dinner at sakae sushi! yummy! window shopped alittle and bid goodbyes. did i mention, the guys at wheelock's apple store's very nice? and yes, before i forget. theres this ice cream place just right infront of shawhouse right? notice there's a super charming and goodlooking bung working there. fwah, i almost drooled and erm, i touched her hand when she passed me a sample of the ice cream. *takes off tee and runs around the house naked* okay, im lesbian!

dream alittle dream of me

2006-06-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

*stretches body* yawns! i just woke up. and time check, 2:05pm?! am i pig or what?! *chuckles* have got to make a trip to the polyclinic to pass them mg referral letter. so lay-che!

i had a dream last night. i dreamt that i was married to my ex-boss. fwah. he sure is one charming man. but erm, isnt he alittle too old for me? he's in his 30s? hmm. but hehe, i dreamt that he drove me around in many of his cars, bmw, merc, yadadadada~ see? monetry dreams, i can remember. *slaps forehead*

listening to my blog's song reminds me of 'bridget jone's diary' once again. arrrr~ and i seriously do want to throw my ipod out of the window alr. i swear. ive never been this pissed with that damn toy. *RRROOOAARRRSSS* okays, clouds are grey, dont look too good. i better get my arse out of the house before it rains.

and yes, i dont know what's up with everyone. everyone seems occupied today, to think that im willing to step out of the house today, finally. always e wrong timings. dinner, anyone? text me on my mobile eh.

i hope someday, you'd be out of my mind and i'll be over you.

pokes pokes

2006-06-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

damnit, my ipod's giving me problems again :( am thinking of selling it away to buy the creative one. or better still, sell it and keep the money to buy the new LG black edition mobile phone. it looks hell cool on 8days. i want! anyws, havent been out. except for my review, which i erm, need to go for scooping up my nose and x-ray. eeeeeeeek~ im brave, so it's okay.

ohyes, did i mention? i pierced my own ear? hmm. lets see.. (be warned of disgusting visuals)

i used a metal stud and tried poking from the front, to no avail.

then tried the back..

and tada! i poked it in!

change of ear stud :)

okay, the procedure was PAINFUL but bearable, to the point that i almost screamed. but had to keep it hush hush, if not my rents will know =X so yup, alot of bleeding, yesyes. just another boring day i guess.

smile.

2006-06-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

visuals from Ms Michelle Lee's wedding

i know this is soooooo backdated. so very sorry lah. anyws, this was class express 204 of year 2003 attending our ex-form teacher's wedding :) beautiful and indeed blissfully in love :)

mrs kelly tan's son as flowerboy.

walking down the isle.

mr mok and girlies.

the dudes and mr mok.

aftermath.

e204 :o)

lalalalala~

dont you just want to fall in love?

make that fifty fifty!

2006-06-12T04:18:00.000+08:00

Gary and I have more or less settled on gg clubbing this thursday. but the thing is, i havent decided on whom to join me. lets say, whoever that sees this and will like to go clubbing this thurday at thebutterfactory or the liquid room, text me on my mobile eh?

should i bring the special one along with me? :o)

i'd like to tell ya everyday that..
i love you plenty.
i miss you plenty.
i care about you plenty.
but the truth is, i havent quite figured out some certainties.

have i gotten over the past? i sure hope so :(

2006-06-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

life's so bored stiff! *slams table* see? which results in me being violent. GRRRRR!~ anyws. work was called off, because he doesnt need a relief anymore. not that it caused me any inconvenience. because i was in my rent's car anyw. Joe(seb's friend) kept insisting on treating me lunch. bt i declined. hmm. dining with two tall and beefy(okay, maybe just one) sounds good to me! MUAHAHAHAHAHA~

arrrr. today's so rainy, gloomy and boring. did nothing bt read the papers and munch on junks. and i just had yogurt for dessert, guess what? it's supposed to be MIXED berries and i could only dug 2 STRAWBERRIES, which led me to checking the seal again and again, because it wrote "MIXED berries" and not "strawberries". even food label's screwing me up on a pathetic soppy Sunday. sighs.

and im thinking of a cup of Hot Chocolate at holland village now. not that i even drive :( so yes, last night during e reunion dinner. i became the subject during the whole food dining. because apparently, they asked when im gonna go catch my driving licence. then i blurted "i want to ride a bike instead." fwah, i wanted to talk back those words almost immediately. because all the commotion, yadadadadada just came along. almost all were disagreements. i dont get it? why do i even want to SHARE the family car? since my brother's a captain, i think he'd look more suave with a car in hand, i might as well get a transport of my own, something less costly. to think of it, i dont want to regret when im older, i want to DO something i LIKE while im still young, get it people? okay, adults being adults, can only possibly think of the dangers. and they say im being wilful for my acts lately. what the? arr. it's not like im even LEGAL eighteen yet.

i see most people have more or less caught the world cup fever. in a way, it's also a good reason to gather friends and family, isnt it :) so yup, i am craving for liquor suddenly, right at this point typing this. lets say, anyone's up for CHIJMES or CHINAONE this weekend? i see a couple few hands alr, very good. HAHAHAHA. and yes! i was skimmin through my mobile's inbox and i was disgusted with the fact that there arent any females texting me (except yasmin, whom i text last night)! ladies and my girlies, where have you been? meetup! dont you miss berney baby? and yes, to my cliques (zid, myrah, linin.. and you know who you are), we'll go wala wala next friday alrights? which falls on 20something, a beautiful FRIDAY. yasmin! youre to come! and im thinking of inviting Nazeery and Rahimah, agreeable? tag me on it eh.

in e meantime, afew photoblogs. you see, the two MEN in e house's been real cheeky with me today. look what theyve done!

saw this on my bed after brushing my teeth. master piece of my brother. ohyes, he bought that teddy from LONDON. aww~

pickle was used to shield away the lighting. GRRR.

angle 2.

angle 3.

see? pickle's so loved in e family. so much so that even daddy hugs it to sleep.

i'd either go shoot the hoops or go for a jog now.

smile :)

p/s: thank you for texting me everyday without fail, that you miss me *blushes*

2006-06-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

yes! ENGLAND won. lalalala. not very impressive though, then again, rooney didnt play. hmm. own goal by Carlos Gamarra following a freekick from England captain David Beckham. thats it. wasnt able to catch the match live, instead, was following it through www.soccernet.com. hurhur.

BORING. was planning on gg tanning tmr (literally later). but seb asked me if im interested to work in town. HAHAHAHAHA. yes, bernice WORKS! *applause please* so yup, i dont know how i'd screw up tmr, really. fucklar, and i'd be working ALONE, to think that i'd be a NEWBIE. okay, think moolah, thats how i always comfort my working friends.

and mommy has got a problem with me now. *ROARS* maybe i should try staying out till morning, then they'd lock me out of the house. then very good, i'd go jump down from the twelve level and bid goodbye to the world. GRRRR. why? they seem to love kelvin more than they love me.

*hugs pickle and sobs*

2006-06-10T07:15:00.000+08:00

i just reached home people. yes, very "early" of me, infact. initial plan of gg tanning later's more or less burnt. because i think it'll be wiser if i stay in for e rest of e saturday. dad gave me quite afew no. of miss calls, was too afraid to pick them up. so yeah, i'd rather lie to him that i was on e ride back to jurong. whatever. upon stepping into e house, greeted him, only to get e cold shoulder and he shook his head. maybe im just not once bitten twice shy sorta person. and being home 7am itself's even later than my usual clubbing time. so yes, bernice's a bad girl. one thing's for sure, i dont go out to do drugs or get involved into sex. nothing naughty, just e laptop, the fabulous ride and a cup of warm teh tarik :)

so yes, the night started with me meeting cheeyon, because i promised him to help him with his project if i happen not to head out to town e night or something. so yes, pioneer mall's macdonalds it was.

we're the haivanais people! still cant quite get over the fact that i spent $49.90 on those. and tingyuan's always reminding me of it :(

cheeyon, the ti-ko-peh! YOU SHUT UP! i bloody did your projs to let you attain yr diploma!

as usual, would surf the net even before engaging into the MAIN matter, to help him with his html project. so yes, he being the all-time-smart-aleck, tried doing it despite me being around. only to bloody waste **** time. when he finally passed me the laptop, the turtle yuan finally arrived, to ride out! hurhur. in e midst of waiting for tingyuan to pop over to pick me up, was browsing through ~~porn~~ and played the Macdonalds' videogame. pretty aimless, because cheeyon just cldnt handle a business. to think that he is INSIDE macdonalds' playing Macdonalds' videogame, pathetic. LOL.

thats me, while cheeyon's surfing porn. HAHAHAHA!!

but the ride was hell good! fwah. i love rides on tingyuan's ever powerfuul KTM scrambler. and yes, he's supposed to pick me up and fro when i get into tertiary education next year. chey~ then we chatted about everything else, right under the ~~sun~~ stars, with his durian milkshake and my teh tarik. HAHAHAHA. was talking about my experience in e hospital when i was reminded of my soon-operation. sob. eitherways, after e drink, we still didnt want to head home, so we sat along the road, to chat. hey, i loved it! esp with his ever-nonsense. thanks for everything man, dude!

girls, he is single and available! cute and rather, good looking (really! just that he's probably not photogenic). so yes, msg me on msn and ask me for more details! too bad that he is too short for me =X

so much so for e night. eye's been itchy all day. wonder why. been rubbing alot. have got reunion dinner later this evening, dont know if dad will ROAR at me when i wake up. but heck, i deserved it. nonetheless, good morning, world.

very blessed when im around you.

2006-06-09T04:51:00.000+08:00

now that im ready to talk, he's keeping silent about everything else. doing nothing but just blog about us. what the?

anyways..

it's 1 minute to 5am. and this is my 4th attempt to loading up this bloody **** entry. and yes, im once again, getting the insomnia. but hey, no, im not gonna take the pills. because i truly understand the fact that i should not be too dependent on them. so i'd rather sleep when i feel drowsy. currently ive got this tissue stucked up my nose, yes, the nose allergy has come haunting me AGAIN.

was at caldecott for Singapore Idol LIVE recording. yeap! all exciting and i think e row infront of mine was irritated by my very sharp screeching scream, cld have almost broke a glass or something. congratulations to Rahimah once again, for making it to the top12! way to go, punk babe! she rang me up the night before, she was all paranoid about her performance then to make things worst, when we were about to hang up, she went "it's my birthday today!" AAARRR. i just screamed over the phone, damn me! im always never good at numbers, needless to say BIRTHDATES. but yeah, i owe her one :(

evidence of rushing down by CAB!

during the recording.

MARGARET (no, only we cliques are allowed to call her that) and yazid :)

remember the guy in blue? the COWBOY? HAHAHAHAHA!!

after the recording, headed to some prata place. fwah! i swear they have the best mushroom cheese prata in the whole of Singapore. it's crispy with a CAPITAL C okay? so yeah, the night was more or less like that. with the company of zid, MARGARET and bastard YON.

expressions of sheer satisfactory!

now what, MYRAH! please reunite the next time we go to WALA WALA @ holland village eh? everytime, someone just goes missing. hurhur.

so many things that i want to blog of. but ive clear forgotten what to blog. it's late, okay (literally EARLY). even weiren's up to head out to camp. wtf? and im meeting e dudes for tanning at 10am! holy toot. good morning, world.

p/s: yazid and yon, if im late, you should know why eh. im bloody sleeping when the world's almost waking up for work/school!

stupidity, maybe.

2006-06-07T19:21:00.000+08:00

for some reasons, i wonder whether that sms was an act of my stupidity. i went on to check his site, and yes, he did blog about it. but im wondering, whether it came at a wrong time. because if ive not guessed it wrongly, he was probably clubbing or something. so my sms could have possibly caused either one of e two, anguish or upset. i'll go with e earlier, so it could have made him drank even more alcohol, but e thing is, he cannot hold his liquor well. not that im bothered though, just that, it felt like i should compensate him for my irresponsibility then.

i could vividly remember e last time we met up. so little spoken words, maybe just "im sorry for swearing at you." and my response? "it's okay". then he passed me e box and i walked away. only to find myself sobbing at his written note placed inside e box. e sobbing part, he wouldnt know. and yea, he probably was expecting at least a thank you, but me being me, i cldnt be bothered to.

there are just so many things left unsaid, actions not answered for and here i am, only traumatised at this moment of time, it's been months, and only now? i think ive got this back-dated-brain-recollection problem. ar, why am i blogging this. can only bring myself more commotions about me as a snobbish and irresponsible bitch, i mean, lets face it, i know. ive heard so much about myself, but e point being that, it's my way of dealing social relationship with people, as far as i havent hurt you, i dont see why you shld even be bothered. whats more, if i havent even interacted or socialised with you, you dont even bloody know me, so why even judge me?

it's been half a year and im constantly growing, im still in e midst of learning to deal with personal problems, not to get too emotional over some, and to be bothered over some. i can forsee that this isnt gonna just end here, im hoping for some explanation, like how he eagerly was hoping for one.

reckon i'd go for a good jog after 9pm or something. after all e digestion in my system. and im yearning for some sun tmr. tanning at km8 tmr, anyone?

grease

2006-06-07T12:47:00.000+08:00

before i start, thought i could share with you pp, that THIS IS MY FAVOURITE CLUB hit. i dont know, i'll always look forward to GREASE REMIX whenever i club. then i'd do all the scissors wave across the eye, all the 80's dance moves, like e ones you see in Saturday night fever, talking about that, i want to watch the flick! okay, goodie, something to my 'want' list. im thinking of clubbing this weekend! i want to go to thebuetterfactory!!

so erm, i woke up this morning, blur-headed. then mom made me breakfast. uhuhs, it was around 11am that my brother came back. sad to say, he's gotten the next free days off, due to MC. yippie!~ but nolar, it sure doesnt feel good being sick. and i was wondering, how the hell the army wants him back right after landing in Singapore. i mean, it's common sense that he'd need afew days to adapt to the clock here and weather, isnt it? so yah, well deserved MCs :)

then came e funny part. where mom drove Kelvin (incase you didnt know, my brother's KELVIN) to the bed and she covered him with blanket. *pukes* then erm, i whined "why do you not put me to bed when I AM sick?" HAHAHAHA. then she pulled me by e hand and led me to e kitchen to eat my lunch, and as usual, whenever my dad sees my mom do such funny stunts, he'll tag along, then he held me on e other hand, they both led me to the kitchen. i was giggling like a kid then. then again, e one whom used to play wrestling with me has now grown to be a MAN and working :(

to think of it, i really do have comical parents, dont i? i mean, my close friends should have seen the funny moves and acts of my parents. hurhur. just awhile ago, i was lying in e arms of mommy and napping, together with pickle. awwwww~

im gg grocery shopping w mommy at jurong pt later, finally! shes been all cooped up since the arise of rashes, so yeah! we will be heading out. and watch Singapore Idol people, vote for RAHIMAH RAHIM okay? maybe you pp will spot me on tv, HAHAHAHA, i was sitting at e left side of e stage.

i was chatting w Weiren on msn last night when i suddenly asked him, if gays hit on him, since he's all beefy and hunky. HEHEHEHE. then came all e little incidents he has met. hell hilarious. maybe i'd blog about it another day.

as for right now, yes, NOW, my dad's poking on my mommy's tummy. see?

2006-06-06T15:25:00.000+08:00

mommy's lying on my bed, calling out to me, urging me to nap with her. eeeeek. she mad or what!

2006-06-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

it's 925pm. and my family's been sleeping since 630pm. i think their biological clock has gone haywire. and they dont do dinner anymore! but they are so super hyper and awake in the morning, while im struggling to get out of bed. GRRRR. school hasnt exactly been good, because ive been having a hard time to wake up and stay awake. which results in me, skipping e morning lessons. MUAHAHAHA. look at it, at least i make the effort to head down to school ultimately alrights? since my rents came back from states, we havent been out for dinner. but theres family+relative reunion dinner this saturday! HOORAY!~

something's been amissed of a late. is it my activeness? i miss kayaking till my hands break, like MAD. i really do. i miss those torturing bball school trainings and those endless teasings with josephine. to think about it, everyone's busy. sighs. but yes, e fact is, i miss everyone :(

so sharon called me on my mobile, telling me that dad complained about me not eating breakfast when he made e effort to buy e food stuffs. the truth is, i was late for my appointment, furthermore, i hardly do breakfast. not unless i didnt do dinner e night before, you see. they sleep when im awake, they are awake when im sound asleep. i mean, whats e point? i stay home only to hear their snores? of course i'd want to head out. GRRR. sharon says ive got this thing about miscommunication with the family, do i? everyone in e family's been weird, kelvin initiated to drive me to school, while dad buys breakfast, mom keeps bugging me to buy own dinner, and when i did, she will complain about me lying, what the? i think e rashes has gone into my mom alr. ROARS. and im supposed to head back to e clinic for my review, together with mom, because erm, they have to discuss about my soon-operation. will that result in broken nose? i hope not.

okays, i'd stop here. someone's cycling down to my block. and he's gonna hear me whine~ goodnight, world.

2006-06-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

there are two sides to a person, the good and of course, the bad. but lately, ive been having really selfish and evil thoughts. well, though it's just merely thoughts, if i had been really insensible, i could have wrecked a friendship and stirred up commotion in some people's relationship. ive always believed in putting others before self, but things have come to a point where i need to show myself some respect and give myself a chance to love all over again. it kept crossing my mind for e whole darn day, just what am i going to do? avoid? or to bring it up? then i recalled, what Shake told me that night. hear not what others say, but how you feel. then i came to a verdict, that if i really did allow to let things flow, it'll probably end up like some stupid flings which ive had years ago. i dont want to cry because of self guilt, neither do i want the other party to suffer emotion heartaches. no win-win situation, definitely. so yes, ive learnt from enough situations. and i came to understand that, if your heart hasnt given up on the one, whoever that crosses your path, wouldnt mean as much as the one, does. at least, thats my theory.

whats more. my gf did repeatedly tell me, my life could have been so much better, if not for him. that statement's only half true. because on my part, i could have chose not to give my heart away. then again, if he hadnt appeared in my life, these emotional attachments wouldnt have existed. but yah, i'd rather believe it's my bad.

i always tell people, you can never stop a person from loving you. and why didnt i adopt that statement to myself? and who was i to stop him? to ignore him for his acts, only to realise, he's been trying all his might, to change e way my heart feels for the one. he went a long way, one that made me shed tears, but still not enough for me to change e way i feel. times, i just want to unblock him and tell him, to take care and quit thinking about us, it's not worth it to lose his concentration in his work. afterall, man should place family and career first on their list. it's a matter of time, i hope, that someday we'll be out, sharing laughters, him giving me surprises and talk from dawn to break.

matters of e heart aside. today i went tanning with dino esther! and we had a new found out, (actually, ive long heard of it), which is km8 at tanjong beach. one thing is, it's more accessible with own transport as it's way deeper into sentosa. and two, there arent much vball courts and age grp of e crowds there's relatively older. lets just say, they are old enough to earn money and afford e luxury there. so yes, km8 is a beach bar. where pp laze around on e benches provided and booze. well, a cup of softdrink goes for $6 while a pitcher goes for $12. get e picture? and theyve gt tons of booze too. hell was e place comfy and laid back. awwww~ we so wanna go back there again, right dino?

afterwhich, we went on seperate ways. i headed to zouk, to meetup with umairah and yazid for the monthly fleamarket event. unsurprisingly, there was the BIG CROWD. i cld have seen it coming. it was good, really. except that it wld have been better with lesser crowd. good buys, definitely! and yes, i saw chen hanwei and a couple few on screen actor/model. then we strolled around, along MS, on e lookout of my future club-hoppings. now i know where liquid and thebutterfactory's located, HEHEHEHE. which means, clubbing soon! after that, we went to TCC to chill, yes, needless to say, endless laughters and gigglings!

yes, zouk was THIS packed.

three's a crowd!

on another note, i got to thank Umairah and Yazid instead. thank me not you two, because i enjoyed YOU people's company, we'll head to holland v for wala wala soon alrights? and Margaret, why didnt you join us? I demand an explanation!

rob thomas' been playing on my ipod alot these days. okay, this is RANDOM.

2006-06-04T04:15:00.000+08:00

no more kaypo-ing and gossiping alr. i think my brother has found out that ive been viewing his xanga. HAHAHAHAHA. and he locked the site. okay, very smart of him :(

2006-06-03T14:36:00.000+08:00

wooo~ last night i metup with Evon. fwah, e planning up to meet and stuff was so so so tedious man. but we metup eventually. phew~ and e night went off so well for us. we had so much to share and so much to say. hey girl, thanks yah? more of such splendid nights with you :)

so we headed to gashaus after having heard so much about it. ehs, frankly speaking, it didnt turn out as good as we were expecting it to. except that e food's pretty tasty.

so after much yad yada, we took e train to esplanade to enjoy the night breeze. and played around.

wooO~ until we decided to stroll around and heard a liveband playing at dxo. how did we know, we were in luck, because it's ladies night! if you ask, i say as a club, it's almost failing. imagine friday being e peak day to have a heavy cashflow rolling in, they had to do ladies' night on a friday to draw in e crowds? it's bad i tell you, business is obviously bad. so yeah, freeflow and so. i managed to glurped down all 4 strongest housepour, only to find myself flushing all e way home. so the lady, dxo's manager or something, crystal if im not wrong, she asked if we'll like to be in e mailing list, so i thought, eh, why not? then i teased her like, if you see me around here often after tonight, you gotta give me the dxo member card! hahaha, and she went like 'sure do!'. HAHAHA. bt dxo doesnt interest me much, it's so pathetically small and ehs, e crowd's so little and e spinning of music is almost like crap. e only thing that cld have caught my attention was e making out on e dancefloor. hehehe. but yes, we headed to e open air top where e liveband was playing. the ambience was fabulous man. cld have almost slept there. let the peektures do the talking!

and to end this off, i sure have got to thank someone. for waiting for me, down the block from 12mn to 4am++. sheesh. thank you, really. and for e little teddy bear. hehehe :) we stayed up till 635am that i reached home. woah! and ehs, kai and qin, i bumped into mac along my way home and he looks soooo much better with short hair man. LOL.

and that's mr mak ting yuan for you. hehehe. he's someone special, of course! because he's my goodie-o-friend :)

such an ass, dont want to smile. but he's always giving me e big grins when we meet. hur.

ohyes, i bumped into Weiren last night, on e Mrt. and &@%$#*, he couldnt recognise me, because he says ive changed so much, compared to those balling days. awwww~ thanks thanks, for e compliments :) HAHAHA.

good day people!

if not for you, my life could have been better.
if not for you, i could have been loved and be loving someone else.
if not for you, i could have just moved on..
if only i havent had met you.

2006-06-02T18:30:00.000+08:00

for all things that i am not willing to do for anyone else, im willing to do it for my one and only mommy. today's trip to the hospital made me realise one thing, and that is, ive grown up. there are things that me and my brother have to take care of. matters that involve good and sensible judgement. money matters esp. now that brother's soon-to-be-a-captain, he's about to take care of the needs in this family with his big fat pay cheque. and as for me, i'll do all things a daughter should. particularly, take care of mom. fortunately, mom need not stay over at e hospital, because it's pretty minor. it's just some allergy rashes. upon reaching home, mom had to apply e creams and lotion. who else but me could help her right? then it reminded me of how often i do such little stuffs for mom. almost zero. and as days go by, people gradually grow old, while people like me and brother grow up, so as to carry their burden.

i could see brother's got a better perspective of me. someone whom he can talk to, crack jokes with and discuss about his inner thoughts. that im glad, really. only today, did i feel such an attachment to this family. even more than e missing part, an attachment that will last till e day im out and about to setting up my own family, an attachment no one will be able to break of, an attachment that will stay almost forever, until e very day till i die.

all 3 of them are sound asleep, i bet the trip was tiring. HAHAHA. and my brother's snoring so bloody loud. eeeeek! as for tonight, i need to unwind abit. red wine sounds pretty good, doesnt it?

2006-06-02T10:41:00.000+08:00

my mom's suffering from a severe case of skin rashes! and i do mean, SERIOUS. so serious that she has to be admitted to the hospital. then again, it could have been due to the unpredictable weather back in states. explains why im not attending school, because i intend to accompany her to the hospital later. ouch. must have hurt. shes been itching all over and shes getting all e red patches all over the body, and by that, i really do mean ALL over the body. sighs. this isnt a very good sign is it, just as when i thought mommy's back and i cld spend some quality time with my family, this happened! *ROARS*

ive made countless trips to the hospital this year. and i seriously dread it. should it be checkups or visits, i just totally detest them. GRRR. hospital doesnt spell anything good, not unless youre talking about new borns.

when i say, i got fucked, i mean to say, ive had a bad experience/time/incident. allow me to disgress alittle. apparently, yesterday mrs wong returned me my english papers. okay, maybe the essay writting wasnt too good, because i couldnt be bothered to plan my structure layout, that, nevermind. but i could almost gurantee that my letter writting was smooth and well written. but in return, i had ridiculous gradings. so i made her go through my scripts once again, only for her to realise that i deserved way higher grade than what i was given. so yes, the marker was dumbshit strict and hell am i mad. you see, i dont fail english, not unless i dont do my work, all due to laziness. so i was real dissed when i knew about my almost-failing grade for english. if you call this a motivation, then i think you probably have got yr nerves wrongly connected. it is totally ridiculous for the WHOLE class to fail a pathetically can-be-done paper. hell. to think of it, it's over. except that ive come to decide that i will not do expositions again. NOT EVER AGAIN! not even when mrs wong say i got the ability to!

2006-05-31T20:49:00.000+08:00

decided to update e entry since so much came to my mind during e jog. it's been so long since i worked out, maybe a week or so, since e forming of e clique in class, the dudes havent been balling, explains why i havent been active. as a matter of fact, school's e only place i get to work out most, placed second after evening jogs, on my list.

i had to catch for breath while jogging, sheesh. but e later part gt gradually better when i paced down. it strucked me that, you may not be on e same pace as many others,times when pp will overtake you, do better than you do. while i believe, it's whether you reach e mark, eventually, that matters. isnt it? even if it takes 1 extra year to attain that olevel certificate, it's still e sense of achievement that YOU will get after seeing e remarkable grades and of course, for that to happen, youve got to work hard during e process, obviously.

so yes, so many things flooded my mind. of a late, ive been meeting new people. one in particular, is someone whom ive long known but only got real close during these couple few months. while some, have decided to leave footprints in my life and probably, decided to seek for someone more worthy than i am, as a friend. you know, i dont mind, i frankly dont. but if my conscience asks so, i miss all those times, in e name of friendship. but thank God, i had my fair share of good times with one or another, afterall. life's never a bed of roses, cliche i know. as for those whom decided to stay, and ive taken a step away from, ive learnt that, it's in my character. it's true, friends. it says in my star sign that if i ever detest and happen not to feel good around certain pp, i'd distant myself from him/her. i guess, i havent been able to deal with such situation, because i dont like to verbally hurt people, neither, physically. unfortunately, i give many, e emotional attack. that, i apologise. because it's afterall human to err, infact, im on e run, to understand myself better and to do what's best for myself.

now that i notice, e targets that ive set for myself, has slowly deceased. not that i dont want them anymore, but because, i think im not up to it. and that i will always comfort myself, 'never mind, we can always aim for second best', and slowly, all things fall, only to tell myself, 'if i can do it, then let it happen, if im nt up for it, then lets forget it'. you see friends, someone did once told me, it's not in e genes or whatsoever, but e mental will, e terrible urge youve got for something. i know, many times, all i do is say and not much of an action is done. but it all starts in e mindset, to believe in something and gradually, work for it. a step at a time, thats what i hate. i remember one of my ex-boyfriend whom told me so. but ive never agreed to that statement, because we plan life, we plan e way we want things to work. we dont WAIT for things to happen. as you see, it never quite worked out between me and him, because obviously, we had extreme contrary perspective of dealing with life.

some come into your life to hurt you. but could you blame them for doing so? if not for e hurt, would you learn that life isnt all nice and nicely laid? not for them, would you know youre imperfect? and that there are things in yourself, that you havent notice, that you should change for e better? so you see, in a way, life does make sense and times, no. we shouldnt look into that, should we. because life, is afterall, a learning journey. a constant learning route. to deal with bad hair days, naggings, bad grades, love issues(learning to differntiate crushes from love) and even doing e dishes (because you may get clumsy and break e dishes). okay, so much that ive uttered, i dont know if it really makes sense to you all. i know this is particularly long, bt heys, you can dont read it, you dont wish to. but apparently, now that youre seeing this sentence, it's obvious you HAVE read e entry. hurhur. TOO BAD!

sighs. i suppose mom and dad's boarding e plane, because they'll be back tmr midnight. i hope they get something from japan for me too! (for theres air transit at narita airport). receiving endless phonecalls, all very concerned about my well-being, i thank them all. and ehs, i need to thank someone, particularly. for doing so much, and e surprise that is soon-to-come, i thank you :)

i hope Rahimah's singing journey gets better, and ehs, in our eyes, she's e same old baby MAH :) and all thanks to Zid who tagged along to today's tanning session. and ehs, waiyeng for fagging with me for e past few days. yes, i have been smoking, but hell, i decided to drop it and passed all my cigarettes to let her suffer from lung cancer, instead. MUAHAHAHAHA!! girl, you shld quit it, saves hell load of moolah.

lalalala. thank you for your time, readers! if youre not happy, as youve wasted some time on reading these, let me compensate you by giving you each, A BIG FAT KISS!!!!

okay, im kidding. big fat slap, want?

ohyes, before you go.. see this!

so theyve been given their own parking lot, and they insist there was a ceremony. of course, it was modified themselves, check out e 'artists' that went. LOL. retards!

2006-05-30T16:35:00.000+08:00

e trip to e clinic didnt turn out too good. for one, she decided to increase my dosage and change all e pills that im currently taking. because my body hasnt been responding to them. she was taken back when i told her i havent been drowsy from popping e pills, because according to her, majority of e pp will be knocked out after taking e pills. hurhur, a real life example would be my cousin, she snores like a pig after taking e same stuff. so yeah, she has decided to allow me to go on mild sleeping pills. heavens! i needed it long time ago, though e hospital didnt agree to me having them.

so she gave me an overview of e current phase/stage that im undergoing in e "sinus plan". it's a 14days thing. and im on day 8 already. things arent looking too good, she says. because my cough hasnt gone off (infact, my voice has deepened from this), neither has my nose improved. so yes, i'd be gg back 6 days later for another review. by then, i'd need mom/dad to tag along. because if my reponse to e pills isnt getting anywhere better, i'd be sent for x-ray and probably have to go for e operation. hell, am i not surprised? ive seen it all coming, personally. because it's been on going for years. so i guess, e operation cld do me good afterall. but im gg through these step by step, operation will come into e picture at e end of e journey, if i still dont recover, that is.

and to think that i told mom ive recovered last night when she called. sighs. i didnt want mom to worry, thats why. if im not wrong, i do remember seeing this year as a bad year for my health, so yes, i am so not surprised. im on sooo many pills that i went to buy a pill box to store my pills, it'll convenient for me this way =/

health issue aside. i actually witnessed a fight outside a hair saloon just now! well, it started with pp crowding outside e saloon, so i decided to kay-poh abit too. apparently, e hair dresser slapped e customer on e face and e lady in returned, punched her back. and yes, her hair was all shampoo-ed, with e foam and everything. and if ive nt heard it wrongly, e hair dresser kept repeatedly said 'i give up'. probably e customer wasnt satisfied and went on to curse her or something lar. hurhur. it wasnt long that i decided to walk away, because i was very much dishearted to see such a sight. and let me tell you why. ive never liked seeing pp fight, not gf-bf thing, not parents-kid nor even school canning students. because i was brought up in a family, where dad believes that no violence shall be involved in bringing up me and bro. that i believe too, violence leaves a scar, maybe not just physically, but mentally and it brings along mental torture. it's just so wrong! it will bring influence to pp, seeing it as a 'okay' thing to do, fist fight doesnt make sense in solving a problem, agree? it's a futile thing, eventually. but ehs, i enjoy seeing guys fight and i dont know why. HAHAHA.

my laundry's piling mountain high. sighs.

to my surprise (after having blogged abt him in e previous entry), cheeyon msged me this morning. he wants to bring me to this band thing at e youthpark. ehhhhhhs~ hmm. weird. anyws, i miss e boy! awwww~ and seb's treating me to lunch next week. hehehe, who says ex-bfs cannot be goodfriends eh?! hahahaha, qin's gonna-so-shoot me on that =X

look what ive photo-shopped today!

okay, someone's gonna kill me =X

anyws, that was MY stupid idea lar, i just wanna disturb yeo. LOL. now here's e real thing.. my bro and his gf.

2006-05-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

i pray that insomnia does not hit me tonight. purleaseeee?

on a happier note. mom called, she misses me. aww~ and shes getting rashes from e weather, ouch. must have hurt terribly. and ehs, she cant wait to be back, to see her baby bernice :)

sighs. even if i concerned, would you care?

2006-05-29T16:33:00.000+08:00

i spent hours cracking my darn brains, to install photoshop with e help of no one and *evil laugh* i made it! *applause please* it's my first attempt? maybe it aint that impressive, but it's my FIRST time photo-shopping eh! anyws, there you go..

ive been getting constant headache. sighs. and im getting e insomnia, this time around, i think it's getting serious. because i laid on e bed since 11pm last night and wasnt able to sleep, only did i finally doze off at 4am and woke up at 6am! i slept for 2 pathetic hours. what's more surprising? im not e least bit tired nor sleepy now. i think my nerves' gone haywire. ive got to head back to e clinic for my review tmr anyw, so i'll probably consult the doctor on this.

hafiz just ringged me up. and guess what? he called to ask me for e time?! &%$&^*! see? i got kidnapped by him this afternoon and then what, call me up to ask for e time. black ass!

nothing much to blog for e day, except that i miss my girlies :(

and, cheeyon! where have you beeennnnnn? 'beach' misses you. awwww~

2006-05-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

it's been one after another. now, hell am i addicted :(

2006-05-28T12:41:00.000+08:00

OKAY. i just recalled, that i dreamt of cookie coated with brownie plus peanut bits? HAHAHA. what a weird combi. bt yes, it looked really saliva-dripping good, in my dream that is. maybe it's a sign! that i should go whip up that recipe and muahahahaha~ i may just produce cookies that sets e whole world talking! *sniffs dollar notes*

back to reality. i reached home at 5am this morning! holy toot. if not for my parents being away from town, i wldnt have e guts to stay out till late *crosses 2nd finger and middle finger* HAHAHA. bt clubbing's always a different case right? well, yesterday was one hell of a depressing day for me. everything was just absolutely wrong. let me highlight e word "WRONG". grr. yes, i went lunching with sharon @ fish&co. good enough right? then i had to head over to cityhall to meet irene, because she wanted to get a new mobile. &*!%$&*&!! and i was soooo very tired during e mrt journey there. i actually dozed off on e train, not that i like pp dozing off on trains, it's just me. so yes, she was LATE. fucklar, when im late, she will find all ways to flare up at me. and yesterday when she did, i didnt even say anything, reason being shes older than i am. you see, thats e reason why im damn dissed. when my respect for a person eats me up in e end. it always happens! esp when i particularly care for a person, i get fucked. (not physically lar, you dumbshit) hais, thats life, i guess.

i was supposed to meet someone in town, after accompanying my cousin, when he told me his friend's penniless and he had to send him home :( so i thought, YES, it IS A BAD DAY! so i headed home. then he msged me that he's coming over to my area! hehehe :) so yes, i was so impressed by his bike. okay, he cld have seen that astonished look pasted on my face. HAHAHA. that freaking big machine. woah. bt yah, he went a long way to owning that. he practically worked 24/7. so yeah, ended up, he forgot to take his helmet from e previous friend and actually went all e way to his place and back to mine again. hehehe. so we rode out. fwah. i used to be able to doze off on bikes, but hell no, definitely not on this scrambler. you cld almost fly when he decides to brake halfway. so e speeding part was so so so good, esp e breeze. woooo~ went to esplanade (yes, both of us were in tee and shorts), then we procedded to grab a bite @ bukit timah, muahahaha. he lucky dude, i was his walkin-road-directory! wakakaka! supper was soooo good too! i had my first go at soup tulang. and then we went to my area and it was another round of nua-ing. he sillyboy, he sure loves his new machine, infact, he named it his wife alr :) but his company really did brighten up my day, and i do mean every minute of it. i bet he's still sound asleep.. snoringggg~ i felt so much better, with his presence :0)

his very whooping-big machine.

that made me a merry-happy-girl <3

dinner tonight, anyone?

2006-05-27T03:14:00.000+08:00

someone has finally gotten his own bike :)

2006-05-26T13:47:00.000+08:00

did you people watch e finale of American Idol? it was great, infact, i came online to check if youtube.com has its clips. so yah, i found 'one love' by elliott yamin and mary j. blige. personally, i find this amazingly good, even compared to 'the corrs & u2' version, though im hell one a big fan of the corrs. bt elliott did it good, except that mjb took too much of e attention. like not that she even knew elliot existed on stage together with her?! GRRR. then again, it's no doubt mjb's e diva. but e hand holding felt extremely un-natural and uneasy. HAHAHA. it's such a waste that elliott's out. i think elliott should have been e American Idol. what a pity! GRRR. what's up with America man?!

so we watched him grow along each episode. good thing that he chose to keep his hair. because i loveeeee it *licks* and check out that little goatie beard. *licks again* NOW, you know what i want this Christmas, dont you? bring e man forward! HAHA.

incase you havent watched it, here it is, too good to be missed!

p/s: i watched e video repeatedly for 20 over times. i simply love it!

despite today being e last day of school. it started on a real bad note. first off, i set e alarm, not realising that sharon actually tuned it to be half an hour earlier. in turn, i woke up, seeing e sky so bright, i got totally shocked. GRRR. rushed my way down to hail a cab but to no avail. then i headed back home. was pondering whether to just skip it. but after much indepth and sensible thought, decided to hail a cab much later. was late but mr thiligan let us off. woohoo. probably it's just e class, so i'd have expected that only afew turned up for school. no lessons, no nothing. so i wandered around e school, most of e time. watching e pathetic 50th anniversary performance in e hall. nearly puked. some really childish and disheart-ing items they've got there. as usual, i screamed, infact, i always do that, dont i? hehe.

so here i am. back to my comfy home. it's e weekend! and ive got my day laid out for myself. that is to complete e assignments and hopefully, do more sketches. suddenly, i feel like tearing my sketches apart, they look like trash compared to nigel's. sighs. whoever said they were good? nah, they arent, trust me. i was thinking of getting e whole layout revamped, but nah. it's a crazy idea.

one highlight of e day would be, that miss wong(yes, e very mean one) actually photocopied all e worksheets and stapled e answer key for every paper just for me. woah. im enlighted, totally. think i'd go buy 4D later. and she was all smiley to me this morning, esp when she asked about my whereabouts for e past few days. she cares! she actually cares! WOOHOOOOO~

can i forgo the medicine? purleaseeeee?

2006-05-25T21:39:00.000+08:00

mom just called not long ago. i know this sounds stupid, bt i was crying while i was on e phone with them. not that i allowed them to hear through me, so i just.. teared silently and pretended to be suffering from sore throat. anyws, mom mentioned that e weather there's cold. and ehs, she bought me a "I LOVE NEWYORK" tee shirt?! of all things, THAT?! hahaha. bt yeah, it's e thought that counts. so yeah, she kept repeatedly told me to take care, take care and take care. and to buy food, and not cook maggie. wakakakaka! once they are back, i'd make sure they treat me to a sumptous meal :)

they are gonna be back on e 1st. cant wait. distance does make e heart grow fonder, doesnt it? above all that, i'll make sure i do my best for monday's paper. because simply, i love mom and dad! i hope they'll have fun there and i'll definitely take double care.

i miss you, mom and dad (grrr. and my irritating brother)

bernice
xoxo

2006-05-25T12:30:00.000+08:00

which part of "stop bugging me" do you not understand?

some people are just plain irritating :(

good thing kelvin replied to my email. you wouldnt understand how relieved i was. i went "phew!" well, apparently dad's phone's down and they havent been able to charge it but they promised to ring me up tonight. hooray!~ i know it's gonna sound stupid, but i actually imagined how e scene would have been like, if e niggers actually kidnapped my parents or something. sheesh. but thank God, they're safe and sound in their hotel.

and yes, something thick and grellow-ish (green+yellow) substance came outta my mouth just now. e phlegm i suppose. eeee yeeeer. and ive received sooo many phonecalls in e morning, that i decided to place my phone next to me, so as to reduce e number of walkabouts from my room to e living. im heading back to sch tmr. happy? perhaps. at least i'd be able to waterbomb from e fourth level. *hiak hiak hiak* im getting better infact, i dont feel that physically weak anymore. minus e excessive amount of mucus stucked within my nose area. *brrrrr*

my phone is getting on my nerves. okay, lets not blame it on e pathetic motorola v3. it's just e person on e other line. doesnt it ring a bell if i dont pick up your phonecall or reply your messages? it's dissing me off, entirelyyyyyy~ it aint just one person, but TWO! and i was hoping to change e URL of my blog soon. hmm.

anyws, time for medicine! *brrrrr*

im craving for chicken and beef tonight. anyone?

2006-05-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

I WANT MOMMY!

sobs. home doesnt feel like one without them :(

2006-05-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

called my dad's mobile. but to no avail. he probably switched it off. and im wondering, it aint make any sense, because it's a normal routine, that we'd call each other when we've reached our destinated country. oh God, im worried. sheesh. time and time again, e phone rings, bt it's never mom/dad on e other line. this is it, i'm gg bald from all e pulling of my hair, what's e olevels' when they havent called back? cld the niggers have captured them? oh comeon! phone, ring! let mommy and daddy be on e other line, i beg youuuuu~

so sad and lost :(